The Luckiest No Matter What!

This spring Josh and I wanted to do something to our backyard to add a little pizazz and beauty to it.  We also had been looking for a way to honor our two lost babies as well; something that would be in their memory forever.  After much thinking, we decided to spiff up the area by our deck and create a garden that could honor our babies while also looking beautiful.  It was important to us that we did this work on our own and developed the concept together so it was really truly our doing.  Someday, I'll look forward to taking my kids out here and telling them the story of how this garden came to be and about their two siblings who are in heaven.  Here is the journey...  Before: The future Oasis   Before: Future garden site     Before: A place we've tried to grow flowers, but it gets flooded easily and just likes to grow weeds!      Middle: Garden area all dug...

I need to share with all you readers that I have a sixth sense. I have been ridiculously accurate at predicting when someone is pregnant.  I'm not talking about seeing someone at a mall with a baby bump and turning to Josh saying, "hmm, I bet she's pregnant."  I'm talking about knowing someone is pregnant before they tell me or anyone and maybe even before they know themselves.  Cue the creepy Twilight Zone-type music.  Josh is really the only one privy to my gift that can vouch for me because he's the one I always say, "she's pregnant, I know it!" to. I think I may be uber in tune to what's going on around me over the last six months to a year.  I notice whether or not people are drinking, I pick up on little cues coming out of people's mouths about babies and timelines and small changes in behavior. I notice if people are talking about eating or being tired or even omitting certain subjects from emails and conversations.  I ha...

June has brought a lot of celebration into my life... one of my best friends got engaged my youngest sister graduated from high school my sister Colleen had a birthday several people in my life are expecting...some after having been trying for a long time or suffered miscarriages like me the school year ended, I'm in summer mode!!! my amazing husband turned 29! we celebrated my grandmother's 90th birthday I want to stop on the last event and dive a little more deeply... Grandma Ort blowing kisses to all of us before she blows out her candles Last weekend almost my entire Pavona family got together to celebrate Ortensia Pavona's 90th birthday.  My 100% Spitfire Italian Grandma in all her 4' splendor is 90.  How amazing right?!  Most of us went to church where she was honored and then headed to Piazzano's for some yum yums.  As I sat at a round table with my parents, sisters, and Josh, I reflected on the fact that the last time my whole family was tog...

Josh and I were in Ann Arbor the other day getting my uterus and ovaries scanned to see how the beginning stages of my injections were going.  On day 3, all seemed fine.  On day 7, all seemed fine.  Then came day 10... Tall Fellow was actually doing my scan because it was a Sunday.  During the week, there is an ultrasound tech who always does the scans, but she doesn't work on the weekends so doctors do that instead.  Everyone is always surprised when I talk about having to go to Ann Arbor on a Saturday or Sunday and are even more surprised still when I tell them I've seen a doctor, but, like they say at U of M Center for Reproductive Medicine, "a reproductive cycle does not take weekends and holidays off...so neither do we." Anyway...so Tall Fellow is scanning my uterus and so far everything is looking fine, just like the other days.  Then he kinda fishes out from one side to the other of my uterus and then Josh and I hear a "huh" escape his lips....

Wow, I can't believe school is almost over.  When I think back to August and take myself through the entire school year, I couldn't be more flooded with thoughts and memories... Days before School Started (August) I lost my brother and my first pregnancy within two days of each other.  The day after my miscarriage/the day before my brother's funeral was our school open house where I met all my new students and their families.  I am still in awe that I handled all of that. Fall Our first para-educator leaves our team.  I have the realization that every single person I am working with this year is brand new to our school except for me...yikes! November/December Our special ed teacher moves to Utah..my students are without support until the end of January Thanksgiving/Christmas...first big holidays without my brother January My students raised $250 for Afghanistan: putting in wells, sending kids to school, and giving kids the well-rounded care th...

Josh and I went to see our doctor at U of M as a follow-up to my miscarriage in April.  Lately, because I always have to be moving forward, I have been reading and reading and reading about miscarriage so that I could 'arm' myself with more knowledge to ask better questions and maybe seek out more testing or something .  I did some research on the Internet, but also read two books, which were wonderful by the way... Preventing Miscarriage: The Good News by Dr. Johnathan Scher To Full Term: A Mother's Triumph over Miscarrige by Darci Klein I took lots of notes and had 2.5 pages of questions and topics to talk with my doctor about. One of the main things I learned, besides about a slew of hormonal, immune, and biological abnormalities, was that there isn't much government medical funding put towards miscarriage research so it is a policy that people don't do deeper testing until a person has suffered three miscarriages in a row without having a successful preg...