The Luckiest No Matter What!

5 years ago, at this very moment, I was in Italy at the start of an incredible trip to Italy and France.  We spent ten days in Italy touring Rome, the Amalfi Coast, Florence, and Venice and then did a three day trip to Paris and Euro-Disney. If you looked at the outside of Josh and I at that time, you'd think we were at the peak of our existence, having the absolute best time in our life.  We were getting established and comfortable in our careers and had both recently completed our masters.  I was thin and in shape and tan with a great new short haircut.  We'd been traveling and jet setting having gone to Cancun, Las Vegas, California, New York, Boston, Toronto, Disney World, Disneyland over the last couple of years.  You would think the world was our oyster and you'd be right...sort of. Also at that time I'd lost my brother to a drug overdose, lost two pregnancies to miscarriage, were in the height and depth of our fertility treatments with injections and ...

It is no secret I like to be in control (" My Crazy" ).  It is also no secret that I'm a passionate person- I feel intensely. Thankfully, I also have an incredibly practical brain.  Although that brain doesn't always move as quickly as my emotions do, it will catch up and kick in eventually.  I know I cannot control everything even if my instincts want to.  I also know I don't want to control everything even if my instincts want me to. There have been many times in my life where I have felt especially out of control: my brother's drug addiction, infertility struggles, miscarriage, being entrusted with educating 11 and 12 year old humans, and most recently, SO MUCH of all things parenting.  While raising tiny humans, there are many things that happen, on the daily, that feel out of a parent's control.  You can provide the safest home environment where things are baby proofed, eyes are always watching, dangerous things are out of the way.  Do accident...

I want my boys to love and respect each other, (and all humans, animals, and things on this planet for that matter).  I feel like Josh and I, as well so many other parents, hold high expectations for the way siblings need to treat one another. Siblings should be your number one cheerleaders, encouragers, supporters.  No matter how hard we all try, it seems inevitable that siblings will argue with one another- that things will seem 'unfair,' that it will always be someone else's turn, that things were always 'mine first.' Josh and I have tried lots of different things to try to defuse and facilitate appropriate interactions and problem-solving techniques between our boys.  We try to let them sort it out on their own as much as possible, set timers if requested, to help people know when to take turns, acknowledge feelings, and have a couple one-liners that we say CONSTANTLY: "We only hug and kiss our brothers." and "Everyone deserves your kind words n...