The Luckiest No Matter What!

This is a well-loved children's story of a boy named Duncan who received letters from all the crayons in his box.  Some crayons were proud of their work, others frustrated and tired, some begging to be used more.  The yellow and orange crayons aren't speaking to each other because they both feel they should be the color of the sun.  It's a cute book about perspective and how they all combine, together, uniquely, to make something beautiful.  This book has been loved by both my boys and my sixth graders. One of the crayons, the purple crayon, really speaks to me.  Not only has purple been my favorite color for my entire life, but this purple crayon sounds a lot like me... While Purple Crayon can appreciate the creativity of Duncan, it cannot deal with the inevitable disorder that a young person coloring brings.  Like the purple crayon, I love my boys' imagination, zest for life and exploring, desire to touch, to feel, to experience, and I apprec...

End of October: 13 weeks pregnant with #HundtBaby4 In case it hasn't been made obvious enough, you can probably tell I might not be the easiest pregnant person to live with.  Especially during first trimester (or let's be honest, basically until a baby continually gives me reassurance with kicks or actually let's be REALLY honest, until the baby is in my arms), I am a DI-SAS-TER.  #MyCrazy is in full swing during this time. You can go back through old blogs while I was pregnant with Nolan and Judah and also when I was pregnant with Carter to see the pattern- losing sleep, checking to see if I'm bleeding a million times a day, constantly worrying, etc.   In October, I hit a really rough patch- mentally.  I had my 12 week appointment to which I did not score an ultrasound (even though I tried and actually also cried) and I was going to have to go another four weeks until I was next given any reassurance that things were okay.  That feels like ETERNITY T...

I've been a proponent of therapy/counseling for as long as I can remember.  When I was in elementary school, I saw the school counselor anytime I needed some perspective and extra guidance.  When I was going to become a big sister, we would go to the library and check out some books on the subject to read together.  When my friends had a conflict, I made them go see the counselor with me to work it out.  I like to verbally talk things out and if I couldn't solve a problem on my own, I had no shame asking for outside help.  I am still exactly this way. In the summer of 2010, I was struggling big time- Josh and I were knee-deep in our infertility issues having just switched from the Fertility Center in Grand Rapids to the U of M Center for Reproductive Medicine in Ann Arbor.  My family was also knee-deep in my brother's drug addiction.  It seemed like all I was receiving was bad news and there was no "end of the tunnel" in sight. My sisters and I had...