A New Mother's Day Tradition?
One of the biggest challenges in my parenting life is how to make sure I give each of my boys one-on-one attention and one-on-one time. When you are trying to juggle four people's schedules, extra curricular activities, homework, and naps, and then add on jobs, bathtime, meals, etc, it gets really tricky. My boys know I love them. My boys know there is nothing I'd rather do than spend time with them. But sometimes I wonder if they really feel like they get enough attention or that their uniqueness is celebrated and honored enough. It's one of the many things that occupies my crazy brain.
When you have as many kids as I do, or probably even if you don't, moms and dads have to be INTENTIONAL about spreading out the special individual time. Josh and I seem to go through stretches where we are better at this than others. Lately, it's been more like he will take the three big boys somewhere and I'll stay with the baby or vice versa. That's not good enough. Thankfully, I also get bits of time with just Carter while Preston is napping in the morning and bits of time with just Preston while Carter is at school. It is really Nolan and Judah who suffer the most because they are at school all day.
Mother's Day was a few days ago. Josh had told me to keep sleeping in the morning, but I found myself awake and thinking about the day and how would we spend our time. I was trying to figure out how I could really celebrate what this day was about- these four tiny humans who made me a mom, AND an overly tired, over-worked human (me) who maybe deserved a bit of a rest ;) I knew I was going to get some rest because all I had asked for on Mother's Day was a nap. So as I came downstairs, I presented a new idea to my boys on how we might structure the day.
I wrote some blocks of time up on the wipe board and had each boy 'sign up' for one of the blocks that looked appealing to them. I explained that it would be a surprise how we would spend our time during that time of day and that it didn't have anything to do with the meal that some of these were around. It was Judah's yellow day so he picked first and snagged the dessert time, which did not surprise me for one second. Even though I told him it didn't necessarily mean he and I would go have a dessert, he is obsessed with sweats and was holding out for a special treat I think.
Josh looked and me and asked if I had plans for each of these blocks of time and, I think to his surprise, I said no. I was going to make this up as I went along. That's not usually how I roll.
Here's how we spent our special times:
Carter, breakfast: I took Carter to go have a Mother's Day brunch with my parents and two of my sisters. I was going to go alone originally, but then he got to be my special guest. He was so excited. He got to see Grammy, which is always a highlight and then also got to put down some serious breakfast food. This kid loves breakfast. He got extra snuggles, and lots of conversation, of course, with my sisters and parents.
Nolan, home: Nolan snagged the home time figuring that he could pick a couple of things for us to do together at our house... he was right. Always ready with ideas, he knew exactly how he'd like to spend his time in true Nolan fashion. First we played a one-on-one indoor basketball game to 30. He beat me 31-28. Next, we went downstairs in the basement and played a new game he and his brothers and gotten for their birthday called Rush Hour Jr. It's an awesome problem solving game. We did all the 'easy' cards for that. Then, to close out our time, he challenged me to a best of fifteen series of rock-scissors-paper. I won that 8-7.
Preston, dinner: I requested pizza for dinner so Josh took Nolan, Judah, and Carter to go get it. Preston was able to have some snuggles with me and then we spent the majority of our time outside on our new trampoline. Preston never gets to walk around in there by himself and he was SO excited to do it. He made kitty noises at birds and dogs (apparently the noise we thought was just for Prim is for every animal), pointed at things, and got chased by me.
Judah, dessert: We had to change our plans a little... our great friends and neighbors invited us over for cake and ice cream to celebrate their son's birthday and Mother's Day. Judah let me know that he absolutely wanted to go there (to eat all the foods... duh!) and that it was okay to change our special time to the day after (Monday). He and I went and had a little sundae at Culver's and he picked out a treat to bring home to his brothers. We got to chat about his day and Judah got to people watch, which he loves to do.
Nolan, Judah, and Carter all gave great feedback and thought it was a great way to celebrate Mother's Day. They also asked if we could do that more often on random days too. It wasn't about the possibility of treats (although I'm sure that was nice) or what we were going to be doing... it was about the time... Quality time. I know it feels good to have someone give you their undivided attention and although Josh and I try so hard to love and spend time with each of our four kids on an individual level, I'm sure our boys often feel our attention is very divided instead.
Mother's Day felt really special this year because even though my nap was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, this holiday is just as much about the kids who make you a mom as it is about the mom itself.
Want more ideas on how to spend one-on-one time with your kids?! Click here!
When you have as many kids as I do, or probably even if you don't, moms and dads have to be INTENTIONAL about spreading out the special individual time. Josh and I seem to go through stretches where we are better at this than others. Lately, it's been more like he will take the three big boys somewhere and I'll stay with the baby or vice versa. That's not good enough. Thankfully, I also get bits of time with just Carter while Preston is napping in the morning and bits of time with just Preston while Carter is at school. It is really Nolan and Judah who suffer the most because they are at school all day.
Mother's Day was a few days ago. Josh had told me to keep sleeping in the morning, but I found myself awake and thinking about the day and how would we spend our time. I was trying to figure out how I could really celebrate what this day was about- these four tiny humans who made me a mom, AND an overly tired, over-worked human (me) who maybe deserved a bit of a rest ;) I knew I was going to get some rest because all I had asked for on Mother's Day was a nap. So as I came downstairs, I presented a new idea to my boys on how we might structure the day.
I wrote some blocks of time up on the wipe board and had each boy 'sign up' for one of the blocks that looked appealing to them. I explained that it would be a surprise how we would spend our time during that time of day and that it didn't have anything to do with the meal that some of these were around. It was Judah's yellow day so he picked first and snagged the dessert time, which did not surprise me for one second. Even though I told him it didn't necessarily mean he and I would go have a dessert, he is obsessed with sweats and was holding out for a special treat I think.
Josh looked and me and asked if I had plans for each of these blocks of time and, I think to his surprise, I said no. I was going to make this up as I went along. That's not usually how I roll.
Here's how we spent our special times:
Carter, breakfast: I took Carter to go have a Mother's Day brunch with my parents and two of my sisters. I was going to go alone originally, but then he got to be my special guest. He was so excited. He got to see Grammy, which is always a highlight and then also got to put down some serious breakfast food. This kid loves breakfast. He got extra snuggles, and lots of conversation, of course, with my sisters and parents.
Nolan, home: Nolan snagged the home time figuring that he could pick a couple of things for us to do together at our house... he was right. Always ready with ideas, he knew exactly how he'd like to spend his time in true Nolan fashion. First we played a one-on-one indoor basketball game to 30. He beat me 31-28. Next, we went downstairs in the basement and played a new game he and his brothers and gotten for their birthday called Rush Hour Jr. It's an awesome problem solving game. We did all the 'easy' cards for that. Then, to close out our time, he challenged me to a best of fifteen series of rock-scissors-paper. I won that 8-7.
Preston, dinner: I requested pizza for dinner so Josh took Nolan, Judah, and Carter to go get it. Preston was able to have some snuggles with me and then we spent the majority of our time outside on our new trampoline. Preston never gets to walk around in there by himself and he was SO excited to do it. He made kitty noises at birds and dogs (apparently the noise we thought was just for Prim is for every animal), pointed at things, and got chased by me.
Judah, dessert: We had to change our plans a little... our great friends and neighbors invited us over for cake and ice cream to celebrate their son's birthday and Mother's Day. Judah let me know that he absolutely wanted to go there (to eat all the foods... duh!) and that it was okay to change our special time to the day after (Monday). He and I went and had a little sundae at Culver's and he picked out a treat to bring home to his brothers. We got to chat about his day and Judah got to people watch, which he loves to do.
Nolan, Judah, and Carter all gave great feedback and thought it was a great way to celebrate Mother's Day. They also asked if we could do that more often on random days too. It wasn't about the possibility of treats (although I'm sure that was nice) or what we were going to be doing... it was about the time... Quality time. I know it feels good to have someone give you their undivided attention and although Josh and I try so hard to love and spend time with each of our four kids on an individual level, I'm sure our boys often feel our attention is very divided instead.
Mother's Day felt really special this year because even though my nap was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, this holiday is just as much about the kids who make you a mom as it is about the mom itself.
Want more ideas on how to spend one-on-one time with your kids?! Click here!
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