COVID-19 Home Life: Weeks 11-12
Because of everything going on with the unrest in our country, it seems a bit silly to be posting this as we have so much to be heavy about right now. However, I write to capture moments in time- to tell my story, my family's story. This pandemic, this quarantine is certainly something I want to remember. So I share my thoughts, here, in real time...
I am a rule-follower by nature- it is inside of me at my core, in my soul. You can ask my parents for verification and they will tell you.
I also work extremely well with limits and boundaries. I thrive in knowing what is expected of me.
I am a rule-follower by nature- it is inside of me at my core, in my soul. You can ask my parents for verification and they will tell you.
I also work extremely well with limits and boundaries. I thrive in knowing what is expected of me.
When our governor said, many weeks ago, stay home- that seemed clear. I understood those limits of see no one, go in public as little as possible, stay at least six feet away. So my family did just that- we saw no one, we stayed home, we barely went out in public except to get food. The only time I interacted with anyone was from a six feet distance.
Although these weeks have been difficult and void of friends and family, I understood what I needed to do to keep my family healthy, do my part to keep the hospitals from getting too overwhelmed. I stayed home and stayed safe, which was what was asked of me.
As cities/states slowly begin to reopen, I am really having a hard time knowing and deciding how my family should move forward. I am finding that the expectations are a little more gray with a little more room for interpretation than what was told before.
Who do I see? How do I see them? When do I see them? What situations are appropriate?
I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking about this and probably thinking about it a lot.
Although I want my normal life back, I know that's not possible and I've accepted it. I don't need to be rushing out to a museum, a restaurant, a concert, an amusement park anytime soon. But I want to have a short list of people that I can see, that my kids can see. My people have been so on my mind these twelve weeks- my family, my close friends, these individuals I've been missing! I want to see all of them, hug them, interact with them in a more normal way. I know we all are craving this.
My short list gets shorter, unfortunately, when I also accept that some of my family or my close friends aren't going to be the first people I see; they can't be. They've been much more exposed than Josh, my kids, or I have for a multitude of reasons- they have been interacting with way more people than we have making them much more risky to us. I don't feel ready or comfortable enough to interact with them the way that I want to.
These decisions are hard to make, they are uncomfortable to make, they are awkward to make. Not seeing some of my favorite people yet doesn't mean I love them less or don't want so badly to see them.
These upcoming weeks and months are going to be hard for us all in that way. We have to think about every decision, every outing in public, every invitation for a playdate- weigh the possible exposure, weigh the possible risks. For me personally, this makes what we are dealing with now and in the future more difficult, in some respects, than the last three months.
Before, it was clear exactly what I needed to do...crystal clear. When your government leader, making calls based on data and evidence and science, tells you not to gather, tells you not to see anyone, tells you to stay home- there is not much interpreting in that, not much to infer. But when restaurants and stores begin opening again, Air Bnbs allow reservations, gather numbers begin to grow, there is a lot of personal choice there.
I feel like, almost daily, I am trying to sort out who to see, when to see them, how to see them. I think I am comfortable with something and then I change my mind. I get nervous. I also feel like there will be people on my short list who might make a decision to go somewhere or see some people and then I may decide I can't see them for a while. This is all really tricky.
I fear there will be a lot of judgement and pressure out there at a time when grace, understanding, and kindness could not be more needed.
Some will judge others on being too cautious or not cautious enough. Some will pressure others to see them, to come in their house, to hug, to share food when a person may not be ready for any of that yet. Some will make others feel bad for their choices. I have already judged others and have needed to check myself. I am guilty and need my self-awareness and empathy to be at an all-time high.
"We are all in this together" has been the mentality shared these last twelve weeks and this rings true, also, as we slowly take baby steps to a life not only spent in our homes. Please remember we are all trying to figure out what we are comfortable with and feel safe doing and there will be a wide spectrum for comfort level and that's okay.
Be open and honest with your people- tell them where you're at and listen to where they're at. Understand you may or may not be on the same page and there are no hard feelings there. Presume positive intentions- that everyone has been and still is trying to do the best they can. Listen to what the experts are advising.
Also, thank you so very much to all the people who have already been and will be in conversations with me about this very topic. Hi to my mom and Josh, especially, who have listened to my word vomit on this topic incessantly. I seek knowledge and am so curious to know where other families are at in these baby steps forward. It helps me learn, grow, and develop my own thoughts and plans. When rules are a little more up for interpretation and don't feel quite so cut and dry, I majorly struggle. You can ask my parents for verification on this as well and they will tell you ;)
Although these weeks have been difficult and void of friends and family, I understood what I needed to do to keep my family healthy, do my part to keep the hospitals from getting too overwhelmed. I stayed home and stayed safe, which was what was asked of me.
As cities/states slowly begin to reopen, I am really having a hard time knowing and deciding how my family should move forward. I am finding that the expectations are a little more gray with a little more room for interpretation than what was told before.
Who do I see? How do I see them? When do I see them? What situations are appropriate?
I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking about this and probably thinking about it a lot.
Although I want my normal life back, I know that's not possible and I've accepted it. I don't need to be rushing out to a museum, a restaurant, a concert, an amusement park anytime soon. But I want to have a short list of people that I can see, that my kids can see. My people have been so on my mind these twelve weeks- my family, my close friends, these individuals I've been missing! I want to see all of them, hug them, interact with them in a more normal way. I know we all are craving this.
My short list gets shorter, unfortunately, when I also accept that some of my family or my close friends aren't going to be the first people I see; they can't be. They've been much more exposed than Josh, my kids, or I have for a multitude of reasons- they have been interacting with way more people than we have making them much more risky to us. I don't feel ready or comfortable enough to interact with them the way that I want to.
These decisions are hard to make, they are uncomfortable to make, they are awkward to make. Not seeing some of my favorite people yet doesn't mean I love them less or don't want so badly to see them.
These upcoming weeks and months are going to be hard for us all in that way. We have to think about every decision, every outing in public, every invitation for a playdate- weigh the possible exposure, weigh the possible risks. For me personally, this makes what we are dealing with now and in the future more difficult, in some respects, than the last three months.
Before, it was clear exactly what I needed to do...crystal clear. When your government leader, making calls based on data and evidence and science, tells you not to gather, tells you not to see anyone, tells you to stay home- there is not much interpreting in that, not much to infer. But when restaurants and stores begin opening again, Air Bnbs allow reservations, gather numbers begin to grow, there is a lot of personal choice there.
I feel like, almost daily, I am trying to sort out who to see, when to see them, how to see them. I think I am comfortable with something and then I change my mind. I get nervous. I also feel like there will be people on my short list who might make a decision to go somewhere or see some people and then I may decide I can't see them for a while. This is all really tricky.
I fear there will be a lot of judgement and pressure out there at a time when grace, understanding, and kindness could not be more needed.
Some will judge others on being too cautious or not cautious enough. Some will pressure others to see them, to come in their house, to hug, to share food when a person may not be ready for any of that yet. Some will make others feel bad for their choices. I have already judged others and have needed to check myself. I am guilty and need my self-awareness and empathy to be at an all-time high.
"We are all in this together" has been the mentality shared these last twelve weeks and this rings true, also, as we slowly take baby steps to a life not only spent in our homes. Please remember we are all trying to figure out what we are comfortable with and feel safe doing and there will be a wide spectrum for comfort level and that's okay.
Also, thank you so very much to all the people who have already been and will be in conversations with me about this very topic. Hi to my mom and Josh, especially, who have listened to my word vomit on this topic incessantly. I seek knowledge and am so curious to know where other families are at in these baby steps forward. It helps me learn, grow, and develop my own thoughts and plans. When rules are a little more up for interpretation and don't feel quite so cut and dry, I majorly struggle. You can ask my parents for verification on this as well and they will tell you ;)
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