The Luckiest No Matter What!

I honestly can't believe we are nearing the end of 2020. Most of it felt so challenging, often shocking, and so pain-stakingly slow sometimes that I wasn't sure the end of the year would ever come. I'm sure this year, especially, has us all reflecting on a lot: thinking back to where we all started, how we first felt when the pandemic hit, when we were smack dab in the middle of it, and how we've adjusted to what is our new normal for the foreseeable future.  I have so much I want to leave behind and never revisit: the memories of all the time I lost my patience with my family, crying in the shower more times than I'd like to admit, the feelings of isolation and loneliness, the worrying. I chose right now, however, to focus on the bright spots of this year. It was hard, indeed, but it wasn't always  hard. Here are some of the things I'm incredibly grateful for in 2020... Starting 2020 on the Right Foot On January 2nd, 2020, I started taking care of myself. I...

On December 26th, 2000, Josh and I had our first official date. We were 17 and juniors in high school. THAT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY! WHAT?!? We had been friends for over three years, and our 'more than friends' chemistry had been building, slowly. A little flirting here and there during health class, butterflies when I'd see him in the hallway, getting on AOL Instant Messenger to talk almost every night.  I don't exactly know how the date got scheduled, but we were talking on Instant Messenger joking around about how we'd be spending our time over break and how fun it would be if we did some of those activities together. All of a sudden we were talking about seeing each other the day after Christmas. I think I kinda blacked out on how we really got there, but I remember signing off the computer, a few days before Christmas, thinking I had a real date scheduled with Josh for December 26th. AH!   The First Date This was taken at Yellowstone this year. I have no pic...

Throughout this pandemic, I lost myself.  I lost my personal interests and my personal identify. It was a gradual process. I began to notice, through the spring shutdown, that the things that helped me balance out my role as mom were not allowed or closed. Seeing friends was off limits, going out to eat or drinks or dessert with adults was not an option, writing curriculum while I was taking a break from teaching was put on hold. Not having these things in my life, suddenly, made me really, really sad. As time went on and the weeks became months, I began to also notice the other things that helped full me up and provide respite were also taken away from me. Having time to myself to do ANYTHING like reading, writing, working out, or working on creative projects was non existent. One day, in early summer, I realized that anything I did or was interested in or spent time doing that was just for me was gone. Anything that helped make me who I was ripped from me.  Kicking and Screa...