Happy 2021! A new year is here. I honestly can't believe it. I took such a beating from 2020 that I am still recovering. It was truly a year for things we did not expect, things none of us could plan for. For that reason, I am treading lightly into this year and I would imagine a lot of you are too.
#OneWord
For the last several years, instead of making a new year's resolution, I've focused on one word. Last year, my #oneword was TRY. I had made this awesome list of things I would TRY to do each month. I spent January, February, and March doing just that. In January I tried being a vegetarian. February I wrote a card each day to friends and family expressing my love and gratitude. In March, I tried never to go over my allotted Weight Watchers points; I tried to use none of my weeklies. Each of these things I TRIED taught me lessons, gave me pause and reflection. I had many more written down and ready to roll out as the year continued. But, after March, the only thing I could TRY to do was make it through each day, make it through each week, make it through each month. I was back to absolute basics- I would TRY to stay patient, kind, and calm. I would TRY not to lose my ever-loving mind and TRY to give myself grace. I spun my wheels to TRY to be wife, mom, and teacher to these five other people living in my house constantly. That's it. That's all the TRY I had in me.
I am using my experience from this last year to shape how I go into this new year of 2021. Through all that's happened in 2020, I'm going into the new year SMALL.
Enter my #oneword for 2021: SMALL.
This little (ha) word is going to challenge me in a big way!
Thinking Big Hasn't Done Me Favors
I don't do anything small. I set huge goals, and want to accomplish everything yesterday, I throw myself into anything I try 150%. I get easily down on myself if I haven't finished something or am behind schedule or don't get everything done. But, I am learning, VERY SLOWLY, that this level of impossibly high expectations I set on myself isn't working.
Let's take a look at how my #oneword would play out in the new year.
I want to exercise more. That is a common New Year's Resolution. Normally, I'd make all these plans. I'd think about how I want to work out- do I want to spin? Do some kind of workout program? Get back into running? Then, I would get on board with something big like committing to 4 or 5 days a week from zero days a week. Likely, after a few weeks or, if I'm lucky, a few months, I would
a) burn out over it all feeling like too much.
b) have a very difficult adjustment period that would be stressful for me.
or
c) eventually give up because it was too much and I would feel terrible and like a failure.
That feeling of failure if I don't succeed, completely, according to whatever goals I made for myself is what I'm trying to avoid and improve upon. Somehow I end up there a lot because of the ridiculously BIG and LARGE expectations I put on myself. It doesn't feel good, let me tell you.
Also, none of these likely outcomes gets me to what I originally wanted, which is to exercise more often. Using the world small would help me make a little adjustment to my current life in a forward direction. Right now I work out consistently once a week, on Thursdays, because I get some time to myself in the afternoon. As the new year has started I'm adding one more day to that. This is a small change, but a doable one. It will also make a big impact because this addition of one more day is possible. I can succeed here.
Making changes in a small way propels me forward in an ATTAINABLE and SUSTAINABLE way.
Other Small Goals
Over the last couple of weeks, I've been thinking about 2021 and what I want to accomplish. What are my intentions? Where are the improvements I want to make? What's not working right now and how can I change it?
One main thing I am working on is my own mental health, which took a nose dive in 2020. I have been consistently looking for more balance and calm inside myself for YEARS- probably as long as I can remember. I think I finally, at 37, have more tools to actually tackle this. One of the things I want to do is to start meditating. I am starting small and deciding to make intentional meditation time once a week. I also put no goals or parameters on how long it should take place or what it should look like. If I pay attention to my breath for two minutes-that's more than I have ever done in my entire life.
Another thing I want to improve is having more authentic one-on-one time with my children. I say authentic because lately I feel my facetime with them is teacher/police officer/accountability coach heavy. I rarely feel that I just get to be an actual mom with them. I know how difficult a remote learning day can be around here. I know how much it exhausts me and how hard it is for me to rally and switch gears once it's over. I am often spent and empty. I'd like to make a goal to have one-on-one time with all four of my children every single day. That should be doable. Except it honestly isn't right now. I need to start small. So I'm going to start doing one 10-minute mommy play time a day. 10 minutes uninterrupted. 10 minutes where there is no talk of school work.
Small Changes Make Big Impacts
There will be more that will come my way in 2021. In each situation, I will approach it making small changes. Movement is what's necessary, not some lofty finish line I have in my head.
My #oneword, small, can also help focus and ground me in other aspects of my life.
I'll be on the lookout for small moments with my family that matter. To friends and family members, I can do small gestures to show my love and appreciation. Maybe I am incredibly short on alone time, but small amounts of time are important too. I can seek out small victories and celebrate small progress over perfection.
These small tweaks, I know, will pay off with big impacts. If I make some new habits from little changes, that becomes transformative and a big deal.
This is a whole new way of thinking for me and I look forward to what growth and pause it will bring.
This seems so weird to say, but... I'm entering 2021 thinking small.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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