NOLAN is SEVEN

Dear Nolan,

HAPPY SEVENTH BIRTHDAY! This is your golden birthday. Daddy and I are looking real forward to making this birthday a special one amidst the Coronavirus Pandemic going on in our world right now. Because of how contagious and dangerous this new virus is, we have been asked to stay at home to stay safe. Daddy’s working upstairs and we are downstairs learning and playing together for the last 7.5 weeks. We cannot touch or see (unless from a distance) our family and friends and need a mask in order to go in public. This drastic new life has been hard on all of us. You’ve been a model student for me as long as I keep you busy ;) Idle hands, for you, are dangerous. Your zest and love of learning have made a wonderful positive attitude in the house. You’re game to learn anything, try anything, experiment with anything, read anything. I sure hope I am challenging and stimulating you enough- you deserve that. You are dealing with this virus and changes just as I thought you would- you are fascinated with the numbers, the news, the headlines. If we let you, you’d watch coverage of the virus all day (we only let you check numbers once a day max). You have so many logical questions. Your attitude has been positive, until it’s not. You had one night where you just cried cried when sports were canceled and another when you were overwhelmed with how long it had been since you got to go anywhere or see anyone. 

Not going to school has been hard for you- you love that routine and structure and you were having a fantastic end to first grade; it’s been hard to accept that you’re not going back there. You love ‘seeing’ your teacher on Seesaw. I am grateful that I think you truly trust me as an educator and believe that I am working hard to help you learn. I really appreciate that professional respect. We learned, very early on in this stay at home order, that there is NO substitute for you like a full day of school and a sports practice after school to tire you out. I cannot tire you out here no matter how hard I try ;) 

Your love for sports continues to grow: you love to play them, talk about them, watch them, talk about them, cheer for your teams, and talk about them, look at statistics and scores, and talk about them. Trying basketball this winter has been a highlight for you- you absolutely loved it.  

In true stereotypical oldest form, you sure love to play, but you sure love, even more, to be the boss of that play. You’ve got a great imagination and great problem-solving brain and so you are never short on ideas. This leads to a ton of orchestrated play ideas with your brothers, which is wonderful. You LOVE to play with them. You do want your vision to be carried out the way it was intended and can get easily frustrated if things go in a different direction. Nolan, you never want all the thinking you’ve done to be in vain. We have worked a lot on letting other people’s visions come to fruition and letting other people lead. That is challenging for you, but you get it. 

Speaking of challenge, I love it when things are challenging or difficult for you and I also love, sometimes, when you lose. Most things come pretty easily for you and that’s great and you’re blessed/lucky, but I know that won’t always be the case. You’ve got to develop perseverance, grit, and humility just like everyone else. Because you pick up on things easily, you also win a lot. Sometimes Daddy or I decimate you at something on purpose just to keep you humble. You were on a soccer team this year, coached by Daddy, that just got their butts kicked over and over. Even though that was frustrating, it provided some amazing lessons on how to gracefully win and gracefully lose. You got rollerblades for Christmas and I think it’s been super surprising to you how hard those are to master. I’ve loved every second of watching you struggle. I’ve loved even more that you keep getting up every time you fall down. 

You love math, you love to read, you love any and every game (sport, card, and board), you love drawing, Legos and/or any building, and recently have gotten into coloring and puzzling. Both those last two things seem to be calming to you. That’s been really helpful these last several weeks at home; we’ve all needed to find some outlets of solitude. 

One of your biggest strengths that’s been around since you were very tiny is your compassion and awareness of others. You don’t always make perfect decisions- you are impulsive and handsy and can be sneaky at times, but there is no one who works harder to make things right than you do. Your ‘I’m sorry’ cards or drawings are second to none, for example. During these last weeks at home, you’ve gone out of your way to help your unraveling mother more times than I’d like to admit. I hate that you feel like you have to do that, but I sure am grateful for the kindness. I think because you and I are so very much alike, we can really tell and see how the other is feeling and can sense when things are wrong. We both step in to help the other quickly. Your ability to have empathy is far beyond your years. Almost all of the time that is such a strength for you and will serve you well in this world, but I see it makes you feel heavy sometimes too- looking out for and worrying about others. Oh boy do I understand you there also. That’s when sometimes we need a puzzle or a coloring session to lighten the load ;) 

Although these last weeks haven’t been easy and haven’t always been fun or happy, I know I will look back on this extra time with you and be so grateful for it. Having my babies at home with me as much as possible is what I always want. Life is busy and this has made us slow down and be together whether we like it or not. I am excited to be able to start your eighth year at home. I am proud of who you are and I’m so glad to know you.

Love you so much,

-Mom