On NOT Starting the School Year
It is the end of August.
For the last 30 years, since I was five years old, that has meant the start of a new school year for me. The start of a new school year brings a combination of feelings that are special and unique.
You've got so much hope for the year to come- making wishes, setting goals, deciding what kind of student or teacher you want to be, picturing yourself at the end of the year, in June, and all that you will have accomplished and learned.
There are nerves- will I mesh well with my teachers/students? Those first moments when you meet at open house or orientation or the first day of school are so powerful, but scary too! Being nervous comes with it many questions you ask yourself- How will this year surprise me? Challenge me? Push me? Inspire me? Will I meet expectations? Make new friends? Feel safe? Feel that I belong?
Excitement is also present- there is nothing like going to pick out your school supplies or backpack or lunchbox. It is so fun being able to maybe go shopping for a couple new outfits. When you walk into that school on the first day, there is a buzz and it is palpable. Schools just have that new school year smell and sounds and sights... ya know?
Besides all the feelings, there is this beautiful sense of the power of a new beginning, a fresh start, a clean slate. You can walk in, each year, and be ANY student or teacher you want to be. I LOVE that. I always tell my students we are so lucky to be on a school calendar because we get TWO new starts- in August, and again with the New Year in January.
All of this is like my bread and butter- I am clearly, 30 years in, seasoned at this 'new school year thing' both from the student perspective AND the teacher perspective.
But, for the first time since I can remember, I am not starting a new year.
Taking a year off hasn't hit me until now.
So far, during the summer, I've been operating the same way I always have with the exception of having more work to do as I write educational content for the TV show Crash Test World coming out in October. Nothing has felt terribly different for me.
But these past couple of weeks, I've been seeing the restart of a new school year happen without me.
-I'm not in the back to school video that will be shared with students and families.
-I'm not presenting at my district professional development.
-I'm not attending the first leadership meeting of the year.
-I won't be standing outside my classroom door shaking all the hands of my new students.
It is surreal and strange to say the least.
I had a 'back to school' dream the other night. I've certainly been having those for the last 30 years!
In this one, I show up early, as I always do...
I walk around the classroom that was mine and Katie's, but now isn't.
My teaching partner Danielle arrives and I hug her- she is not surprised to see me so we must've discussed that I would be there. I talk with her about exactly how I will address these students and why I am there: should I tell them I'm a Hope School Parthenon expert ready to help support them in our expectations?! Should I just let them know I am Mrs. Hundt, a Team 61 enthusiast, and I'm here just to help you start your school year off right?! We discuss a few other options, but don't make a decision.
Students start shuffling in and I still feel unsure of why I am there, but also feeling like I NEED to be there, that I am OBLIGATED to show up.
I woke up shortly after.
I can see that my subconscious is wrestling with my place, where I fit in this 'back to school' thing. Just like in my dream, I feel unsure.
For now, I'm trying to focus on helping support my own sons as they are muddling all the feelings and all that comes along with starting a new year. For example, Nolan, my emotional twin, is already having trouble sleeping just like he did last summer before starting kindergarten. Maybe I can be an even better support because I am not all up in it myself.
This year will certainly be an experiment for me; I think it's nice after 30 years to try a little something new for a minute.
To all of my fellow teachers, and especially to all of my colleagues, I am fully understanding all of your feelings- all of the hope, all of the nerves, all of the excitement.
Please know that I am sending love to you and thinking about all of you. Also know that I am cheering you on, just from the sidelines this year. <3
HAPPY NEW SCHOOL YEAR, ALL!
For the last 30 years, since I was five years old, that has meant the start of a new school year for me. The start of a new school year brings a combination of feelings that are special and unique.
You've got so much hope for the year to come- making wishes, setting goals, deciding what kind of student or teacher you want to be, picturing yourself at the end of the year, in June, and all that you will have accomplished and learned.
There are nerves- will I mesh well with my teachers/students? Those first moments when you meet at open house or orientation or the first day of school are so powerful, but scary too! Being nervous comes with it many questions you ask yourself- How will this year surprise me? Challenge me? Push me? Inspire me? Will I meet expectations? Make new friends? Feel safe? Feel that I belong?
Excitement is also present- there is nothing like going to pick out your school supplies or backpack or lunchbox. It is so fun being able to maybe go shopping for a couple new outfits. When you walk into that school on the first day, there is a buzz and it is palpable. Schools just have that new school year smell and sounds and sights... ya know?
Besides all the feelings, there is this beautiful sense of the power of a new beginning, a fresh start, a clean slate. You can walk in, each year, and be ANY student or teacher you want to be. I LOVE that. I always tell my students we are so lucky to be on a school calendar because we get TWO new starts- in August, and again with the New Year in January.
All of this is like my bread and butter- I am clearly, 30 years in, seasoned at this 'new school year thing' both from the student perspective AND the teacher perspective.
But, for the first time since I can remember, I am not starting a new year.
Taking a year off hasn't hit me until now.
So far, during the summer, I've been operating the same way I always have with the exception of having more work to do as I write educational content for the TV show Crash Test World coming out in October. Nothing has felt terribly different for me.
But these past couple of weeks, I've been seeing the restart of a new school year happen without me.
-I'm not in the back to school video that will be shared with students and families.
-I'm not presenting at my district professional development.
-I'm not attending the first leadership meeting of the year.
-I won't be standing outside my classroom door shaking all the hands of my new students.
It is surreal and strange to say the least.
I had a 'back to school' dream the other night. I've certainly been having those for the last 30 years!
In this one, I show up early, as I always do...
I walk around the classroom that was mine and Katie's, but now isn't.
My teaching partner Danielle arrives and I hug her- she is not surprised to see me so we must've discussed that I would be there. I talk with her about exactly how I will address these students and why I am there: should I tell them I'm a Hope School Parthenon expert ready to help support them in our expectations?! Should I just let them know I am Mrs. Hundt, a Team 61 enthusiast, and I'm here just to help you start your school year off right?! We discuss a few other options, but don't make a decision.
Students start shuffling in and I still feel unsure of why I am there, but also feeling like I NEED to be there, that I am OBLIGATED to show up.
I woke up shortly after.
I can see that my subconscious is wrestling with my place, where I fit in this 'back to school' thing. Just like in my dream, I feel unsure.
For now, I'm trying to focus on helping support my own sons as they are muddling all the feelings and all that comes along with starting a new year. For example, Nolan, my emotional twin, is already having trouble sleeping just like he did last summer before starting kindergarten. Maybe I can be an even better support because I am not all up in it myself.
This year will certainly be an experiment for me; I think it's nice after 30 years to try a little something new for a minute.
To all of my fellow teachers, and especially to all of my colleagues, I am fully understanding all of your feelings- all of the hope, all of the nerves, all of the excitement.
Please know that I am sending love to you and thinking about all of you. Also know that I am cheering you on, just from the sidelines this year. <3
HAPPY NEW SCHOOL YEAR, ALL!
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