When Mom gets Sick
I've somehow gotten very sick twice this summer... in the last month!
I'll spare you the details, but these two sicknesses, while completely different, both knocked.me.out.
I don't I have been this sick in my entire mom life. It was truly awful.
If I was not a mom, and still had some time off in the summer the way I do as a teacher, I would've probably been in bed for at least two days with the first sickness in July and probably more like three or even FOUR days with the second one that happened only a few weeks later in August.
BUUUUUUUUUUT, you know that's not how a mom, or any parent for that matter, can roll especially in situations where you are the one home with kids full time. Parents don't get sick days from their job as 'mom' or 'dad.' They can't shut their door and lay in bed neglecting all of their responsibilities and priorities.
In reality, I was able to stay in bed for a day with the first sickness and a day with the second before Josh had to leave for a work trip in Traverse City.
I have a wonderful partner in Josh- four kids is a LOT of kids and thankfully, we share the load, together. He is supportive and helpful and encouraging and hardworking and I know he finds these same values in me. We are lucky to have each other to step in when one of us is sick or exhausted or has lost our patience.
When he left for Traverse City, my anxiety and fear were through the roof- at that point, I was barely able to stand up, barely able to keep my eyes open, barely able to breathe or swallow. Clearly, I was not at the top of my game. Those next few days were not going to be about thriving around our house, they were going to be about surviving. What in the WORLD does one do in this kind of situation?!?! Here are a few tips on how to try to survive:
1. Get help where you can get it: Josh and I made the INTENTIONAL decision, long before we had kids, to settle close to our families. That was a CHOICE we were lucky enough to be able to make. I'm not very good at asking for help, but my mom did come over so that I could go to an urgent care and see what the heck was wrong with me (more on that) and my dad did take my big three to a playground so that I could just be parenting one tiny human for a little bit. Thank GOD for them. Josh's parents would've helped as well I know, but honestly, I kind of quarantined our family because I was not the only one sick at my house. Our parents are both amazing and I am grateful to be in close proximity.
2. Seek medical attention: Many of us parents, me included, don't take care of ourselves. We are last on the totem pole, the bottom of the barrel. We pour EVERYTHING into our kids and whatever is left into our spouse or partner and then have basically nothing left for ourselves. So, when we are sick, we just suck it up and stick it out without often doing the things that are necessary to feel better faster including rest, relaxation, and maybe a visit to the doctor. This time, I decided I needed to seek medical advice. I was fairly certain I had strep throat and an ear infection... at least! I wanted to know what I had so that if I could use medicinal intervention, I would get it as soon as possible and I also wanted to know what to expect as the rest of my family ultimately got sick.
Well, I am a bit embarrassed to report that I had nothing but a bad cold. Seriously?!
A bad cold that completely knocked me on my butt, completely made me unable to function?! As I sit here, I am actually STILL dealing with the bad cold, almost two weeks later. Whatever.
3. GO TO BED EARLY: I don't know why I felt the need to capitalize all of that, but people- sleep is one of the best ways to help yourself get better. If you are at home with kids all day, you can't nap or take any sort or rest... if your kids wake up at the crack of dawn, you clearly aren't going to get any opportunity to catch a little extra zzzzzzs. Going to bed at a decent hour is the ONLY shot I had to actually REST! As hard as it was, I made sure my house was completely situated before putting my kids to bed so that when I walked upstairs for bedtime, I did not have anything else to do and could fall into my bed the second all my boys were asleep. I'm thankful I did this because I had sick kids up during the night each night Josh was away so my sleep was jack squat, but at least I went to bed early.
4. Be honest with your children about the way you're feeling: My boys are not perfect angels, but I do know they are compassionate. I let them know how much I was struggling and they helped where they could. They were a little more quiet when I asked for it, kept their distance from me a bit (they knew so badly I did not want anyone else to get sick), and of course, took advantage of the more TV time they got because I just did not have the energy or strength to be very fun. They had to deal with a lot from me- I was ornery, impatient, weak, and exhausted. We also stayed mostly inside because I could not chase anyone around. They handled it as best as they could. The first day, when I actually got to stay in bed, Nolan and Judah also brought me cards. Each of these things helped Mama A LOT.
5. Find windows to rest whenever you can get them: I have four very active boys who are rarely quiet and rarely still and LOVE to be busy. Getting any extra rest for me while I was sick, especially when Josh was away, was next to impossible. I did, however, TRYYYYYYYY to find tiny windows where I could get a little rest in. When I made dinner, I cooked while sitting in a chair instead of standing up. When we actually DID get outside, I sat on the driveway when they were occupied. And yes, again, we did extra TV time so I could lay on the couch a bit. Any minutes are better than no minutes!
It is so hard to be a parent and be sick. I'm very thankful we are on the mend over here and have scrubbed every inch of the house (several times) to keep the germs at bay (I hope). Please remember that it's okay to feel horrible even when you have people to take care of and it's okay to do what you need to do to get better. No parent can be a good one if they are knocked out with a sickness (or the common cold).
I'll spare you the details, but these two sicknesses, while completely different, both knocked.me.out.
I don't I have been this sick in my entire mom life. It was truly awful.
If I was not a mom, and still had some time off in the summer the way I do as a teacher, I would've probably been in bed for at least two days with the first sickness in July and probably more like three or even FOUR days with the second one that happened only a few weeks later in August.
BUUUUUUUUUUT, you know that's not how a mom, or any parent for that matter, can roll especially in situations where you are the one home with kids full time. Parents don't get sick days from their job as 'mom' or 'dad.' They can't shut their door and lay in bed neglecting all of their responsibilities and priorities.
 |
| Ah, how nice it is to lay in bed when you're sick... |
In reality, I was able to stay in bed for a day with the first sickness and a day with the second before Josh had to leave for a work trip in Traverse City.
I have a wonderful partner in Josh- four kids is a LOT of kids and thankfully, we share the load, together. He is supportive and helpful and encouraging and hardworking and I know he finds these same values in me. We are lucky to have each other to step in when one of us is sick or exhausted or has lost our patience.
When he left for Traverse City, my anxiety and fear were through the roof- at that point, I was barely able to stand up, barely able to keep my eyes open, barely able to breathe or swallow. Clearly, I was not at the top of my game. Those next few days were not going to be about thriving around our house, they were going to be about surviving. What in the WORLD does one do in this kind of situation?!?! Here are a few tips on how to try to survive:
1. Get help where you can get it: Josh and I made the INTENTIONAL decision, long before we had kids, to settle close to our families. That was a CHOICE we were lucky enough to be able to make. I'm not very good at asking for help, but my mom did come over so that I could go to an urgent care and see what the heck was wrong with me (more on that) and my dad did take my big three to a playground so that I could just be parenting one tiny human for a little bit. Thank GOD for them. Josh's parents would've helped as well I know, but honestly, I kind of quarantined our family because I was not the only one sick at my house. Our parents are both amazing and I am grateful to be in close proximity.
2. Seek medical attention: Many of us parents, me included, don't take care of ourselves. We are last on the totem pole, the bottom of the barrel. We pour EVERYTHING into our kids and whatever is left into our spouse or partner and then have basically nothing left for ourselves. So, when we are sick, we just suck it up and stick it out without often doing the things that are necessary to feel better faster including rest, relaxation, and maybe a visit to the doctor. This time, I decided I needed to seek medical advice. I was fairly certain I had strep throat and an ear infection... at least! I wanted to know what I had so that if I could use medicinal intervention, I would get it as soon as possible and I also wanted to know what to expect as the rest of my family ultimately got sick.
Well, I am a bit embarrassed to report that I had nothing but a bad cold. Seriously?!
A bad cold that completely knocked me on my butt, completely made me unable to function?! As I sit here, I am actually STILL dealing with the bad cold, almost two weeks later. Whatever.
3. GO TO BED EARLY: I don't know why I felt the need to capitalize all of that, but people- sleep is one of the best ways to help yourself get better. If you are at home with kids all day, you can't nap or take any sort or rest... if your kids wake up at the crack of dawn, you clearly aren't going to get any opportunity to catch a little extra zzzzzzs. Going to bed at a decent hour is the ONLY shot I had to actually REST! As hard as it was, I made sure my house was completely situated before putting my kids to bed so that when I walked upstairs for bedtime, I did not have anything else to do and could fall into my bed the second all my boys were asleep. I'm thankful I did this because I had sick kids up during the night each night Josh was away so my sleep was jack squat, but at least I went to bed early.
4. Be honest with your children about the way you're feeling: My boys are not perfect angels, but I do know they are compassionate. I let them know how much I was struggling and they helped where they could. They were a little more quiet when I asked for it, kept their distance from me a bit (they knew so badly I did not want anyone else to get sick), and of course, took advantage of the more TV time they got because I just did not have the energy or strength to be very fun. They had to deal with a lot from me- I was ornery, impatient, weak, and exhausted. We also stayed mostly inside because I could not chase anyone around. They handled it as best as they could. The first day, when I actually got to stay in bed, Nolan and Judah also brought me cards. Each of these things helped Mama A LOT.
 |
| Judah's card is on top with my heart in the middle trying to feel better. Nolan's is on the bottom. |
It is so hard to be a parent and be sick. I'm very thankful we are on the mend over here and have scrubbed every inch of the house (several times) to keep the germs at bay (I hope). Please remember that it's okay to feel horrible even when you have people to take care of and it's okay to do what you need to do to get better. No parent can be a good one if they are knocked out with a sickness (or the common cold).
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