COVID-19 Home Life: Week Three
Thursday. A day I won't soon forget.
I began the day as I have been lately, journaling and watching the news. I happened to catch a story of a 30 year old teacher and coach from New Jersey who died of the Corona Virus. The journalist was speaking with his wife and tears were just streaming down my face. This person had already been treated at the hospital and was responding well to oxygen treatments and meds. He was sick and uncomfortable, but managing. He went to bed and never woke up. He had no preexisting conditions and was healthy. There are stories like these as well as stories about the population this is affecting the most, but this story stuck with me huge.
Our 'school' or whatever you want to call it started at 8:30 with our usual community meeting where we greet each other, talk about the upcoming day, and read a picture book together. Even though I maintained my composure despite my shook-ness from earlier, I knew this day was going to be a memorable one. How could it not?
In my BC life (Before Covid), we were going to pick up the kids from school and drive straight to St. Augustine, Florida for spring break. St. Augustine... sigh. It's currently unseasonably warm there just to add salt to the wound.
In my current life (do you call this DC for 'during covid'??), instead of leaving for spring break this Thursday, we were telling the kids over lunch that they would not return back to school this year.
I knew this was likely coming. I had braced myself, thought about it, tried my best to accept it.
But, a zero surprise to anyone anywhere, I cried during the entire conversation. Thank God Josh was there also so he could string coherent sentences together. Nolan, Judah, and Carter were all sad and asked some questions, but I truly think they understand why this decision was made as well as a younger child can.
I have so many feels about this canceling school thing, as I'm sure all of you do too.
I think about my own children and all that was left for them to learn and experience. Nolan was excelling and loving so much being challenged. Judah's growth this year has been absolutely sensational. I know they are learning from me, but it isn't the same, couldn't be the same, won't be the same. They are robbed from more time with two extremely hard working, kind teachers who obviously care about my sons very much. They will 'see' them virtually and do academic work virtually, but that is NOT a replacement for what they are losing. This is Carter's last year of preschool. His preschool teacher is an angel and does so many wonderful things to celebrate the end of preschool. He is robbed of that graduation experience. While not a senior in high school or college, he's a preschool senior and that matters too.
Then, I think about other children- children without safe homes, children whose parents cannot support their education the way they would like because they are working from home or outside the home, children who rely on school for food and love and consistency. Almost 6 months away? How do we all come back from that?
Oh, Thursday, I was so heavy. That's the only way I can describe it. I snuggled my boys extra that day.
I think we are all walking around a little more heavy right now.
As far as the rest of the week goes....
The biggest change was switching up the way we spent our days. The last two weeks we had a schedule we were loosely following and an order of when we were doing certain activities. This week, we began camp days just like we do in the summer. We did MATH MONDAY, ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS DAY, WACKY WEDNESDAY, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY, and FORT FRIDAY. This gave some surprise to the days and a different type of focus to the days. We will continue that next week until I probably switch it up a bit again.
SMILES:
- Nicer weather.
- Nolan and Judah had their first Zoom call with their class. I cried during most of it, but their smiles said everything.
- On Aril Fool's Day, we did some very cute pranks to the boys that they loved. I think that holiday will be very fun in our house ;)
- Nolan decided to pull one of our lawn chairs over to the edge of our fence so he could watch our neighbors play soccer in their backyard. He tried to ref and cheer and it was great to see him watch some sports. He is missing them terribly.
- Judah, my most reluctant student, is working his butt off. He doesn't always buy what I'm selling and definitely pushes back, but when all is said and done, he's learning. I can see it and he is proud.
- Carter is taking extra care of me the way only he can. He is going out of his way to thank me for things like making dinner and is snuggling me extra tight.
- Preston is learning a lot of new words- I honestly think having his brothers home has helped his language development. We are missing time with his speech therapist, but his big brothers have shown to be his best teachers.
- Josh goes out of his way to try to step in to help in whatever minutes he can. He is super busy at work, but I see his effort and I am grateful.
- We focused on others this week by making some cards and some treats and it felt really good.
- Doing Zoom calls, Google Hangouts, HouseParties, or Facetimes with friends and family.
FROWNS:
- After my complete botched differentiated math bingo last week, I gave it another try this week. While it was better, I still haven't hit the mark to get a bingo card for Nolan, Judah, and Carter that is easy enough where they can each be successful with the math fairly quickly, but challenging enough that they each have to work at it just a bit. I'll get there.
- I miss my family.
- I miss my friends.
- My calendar is bare.
- Everything upcoming is canceled: trips, events, parties.
- Neither Josh nor I are getting enough sleep.
One thing I will say about this week is that I can feel myself slowly moving through to the acceptance stage of grief. The other four stages I have SO been in: the denial, the anger, the bargaining, the depression. I think I was in mostly denial the first week and doing a lot of bargaining with spurts of anger. I remember thinking we'd certainly just quarantine in St. Augustine and then head right back to school after spring break. A few weeks of this will be enough. With every new piece of news or new restriction, I often got more angry and kept trying to make deals with the TV to try and make some kind of time frame to get this done and over with. I spent a lot of last week in the depression stage. Everything felt overwhelming, sad, hopeless, never ending. Towards the end of this week, I've come around understanding that this is just my life. There is no end in sight.
That seems like a negative way to end my thinking, but truly it's not.
I get it. The seriousness has sunk in, the new routine has sunk in.
This is becoming, dare I say it, normal. I hate that it's normal, but it is.
Even though there is no end in sight, I do know there is an end. That will have to be enough for now.
Sending love to you all <3
I began the day as I have been lately, journaling and watching the news. I happened to catch a story of a 30 year old teacher and coach from New Jersey who died of the Corona Virus. The journalist was speaking with his wife and tears were just streaming down my face. This person had already been treated at the hospital and was responding well to oxygen treatments and meds. He was sick and uncomfortable, but managing. He went to bed and never woke up. He had no preexisting conditions and was healthy. There are stories like these as well as stories about the population this is affecting the most, but this story stuck with me huge.
Our 'school' or whatever you want to call it started at 8:30 with our usual community meeting where we greet each other, talk about the upcoming day, and read a picture book together. Even though I maintained my composure despite my shook-ness from earlier, I knew this day was going to be a memorable one. How could it not?
In my BC life (Before Covid), we were going to pick up the kids from school and drive straight to St. Augustine, Florida for spring break. St. Augustine... sigh. It's currently unseasonably warm there just to add salt to the wound.
In my current life (do you call this DC for 'during covid'??), instead of leaving for spring break this Thursday, we were telling the kids over lunch that they would not return back to school this year.
I knew this was likely coming. I had braced myself, thought about it, tried my best to accept it.
But, a zero surprise to anyone anywhere, I cried during the entire conversation. Thank God Josh was there also so he could string coherent sentences together. Nolan, Judah, and Carter were all sad and asked some questions, but I truly think they understand why this decision was made as well as a younger child can.
I have so many feels about this canceling school thing, as I'm sure all of you do too.
I think about my own children and all that was left for them to learn and experience. Nolan was excelling and loving so much being challenged. Judah's growth this year has been absolutely sensational. I know they are learning from me, but it isn't the same, couldn't be the same, won't be the same. They are robbed from more time with two extremely hard working, kind teachers who obviously care about my sons very much. They will 'see' them virtually and do academic work virtually, but that is NOT a replacement for what they are losing. This is Carter's last year of preschool. His preschool teacher is an angel and does so many wonderful things to celebrate the end of preschool. He is robbed of that graduation experience. While not a senior in high school or college, he's a preschool senior and that matters too.
Then, I think about other children- children without safe homes, children whose parents cannot support their education the way they would like because they are working from home or outside the home, children who rely on school for food and love and consistency. Almost 6 months away? How do we all come back from that?
Oh, Thursday, I was so heavy. That's the only way I can describe it. I snuggled my boys extra that day.
I think we are all walking around a little more heavy right now.
As far as the rest of the week goes....
The biggest change was switching up the way we spent our days. The last two weeks we had a schedule we were loosely following and an order of when we were doing certain activities. This week, we began camp days just like we do in the summer. We did MATH MONDAY, ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS DAY, WACKY WEDNESDAY, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY, and FORT FRIDAY. This gave some surprise to the days and a different type of focus to the days. We will continue that next week until I probably switch it up a bit again.
 |
| A Fort Friday creation. This was actually a dog house. Carter was the dog. They named him "Bark." |
SMILES:
- Nicer weather.
- Nolan and Judah had their first Zoom call with their class. I cried during most of it, but their smiles said everything.
 |
| I made a pan of Brown Es for April Fool's Day |
- Judah, my most reluctant student, is working his butt off. He doesn't always buy what I'm selling and definitely pushes back, but when all is said and done, he's learning. I can see it and he is proud.
- Carter is taking extra care of me the way only he can. He is going out of his way to thank me for things like making dinner and is snuggling me extra tight.
- Preston is learning a lot of new words- I honestly think having his brothers home has helped his language development. We are missing time with his speech therapist, but his big brothers have shown to be his best teachers.
- Josh goes out of his way to try to step in to help in whatever minutes he can. He is super busy at work, but I see his effort and I am grateful.
- We focused on others this week by making some cards and some treats and it felt really good.
- Doing Zoom calls, Google Hangouts, HouseParties, or Facetimes with friends and family.
FROWNS:
- After my complete botched differentiated math bingo last week, I gave it another try this week. While it was better, I still haven't hit the mark to get a bingo card for Nolan, Judah, and Carter that is easy enough where they can each be successful with the math fairly quickly, but challenging enough that they each have to work at it just a bit. I'll get there.
- I miss my family.
- I miss my friends.
- My calendar is bare.
- Everything upcoming is canceled: trips, events, parties.
- Neither Josh nor I are getting enough sleep.
One thing I will say about this week is that I can feel myself slowly moving through to the acceptance stage of grief. The other four stages I have SO been in: the denial, the anger, the bargaining, the depression. I think I was in mostly denial the first week and doing a lot of bargaining with spurts of anger. I remember thinking we'd certainly just quarantine in St. Augustine and then head right back to school after spring break. A few weeks of this will be enough. With every new piece of news or new restriction, I often got more angry and kept trying to make deals with the TV to try and make some kind of time frame to get this done and over with. I spent a lot of last week in the depression stage. Everything felt overwhelming, sad, hopeless, never ending. Towards the end of this week, I've come around understanding that this is just my life. There is no end in sight.
That seems like a negative way to end my thinking, but truly it's not.
I get it. The seriousness has sunk in, the new routine has sunk in.
This is becoming, dare I say it, normal. I hate that it's normal, but it is.
Even though there is no end in sight, I do know there is an end. That will have to be enough for now.
Sending love to you all <3
Comments
Post a Comment