The Grocery Store: My Frenemy
We've been staying home, staying safe now for 26 days. Besides spending time in nature, I have went to three grocery stores during that time and that.is.it.
Grocery shopping is a very close frenemy of mine. Before Josh and I had kids, we used to go grocery shopping together. We'd often go on a random Friday night. It was really nice- we'd talk and enjoy each other's company while there and put everything away together when we got home. I loved grocery shopping then.
The first few years we had kids, I began to HATE grocery shopping. Josh did most of it and I'd be at home with the kids, which was always difficult. Then I'd put everything away while my very small children were likely screaming, tantruming, and destroying the house. The whole thing felt overwhelming, even the list making before hand. I was way too tired for that crap.
The last year or so, I've been doing the bulk of the grocery shopping. Sometimes I will take Preston and Carter with me, but often, I GO ALL ALONE. I go up and down the aisles at whatever pace I want being able to thoughtfully look at items. Sometimes I enjoy the semi-silence and solitude of the trip. Others, I stick my headphones in and get to listen to whatever music I want. Oh the little things. I've really enjoyed going again. Grocery shopping turned back into my friend.
When the stay at home order was first beginning, I BEGGED to be the one to go to the grocery store. I hadn't left my house in over a week. I needed to freaking get out of there and get some solitude for a minute. Again, I found myself enjoying looking forward to the alone time and was grateful for it, especially now that all four of my children were with me 24/7, like actually and truly with me 24/7. I was certainly going to appreciate this trip to the grocery store more than most. Or at least I thought I would...
As I continued shopping, I noticed how morbid the vibe was in there. No one was looking at one another or smiling at one another or even speaking to one another. Every cart was pushed slowly, every face wore a frown. It was really hard to be there. Why was everyone acting like they could catch a sickness if they looked at each other? Why did the common courtesy of smiling as you passed someone disintegrate? I thanked the grocery store attendants for being there as they are also some of the unsung heroes of our time, and got out of there as fast as I could. This virus not only stole my freedom, but also my joy from one of the only places I ever get to go to by myself.
Fast forward to this week... this key time. We were told, as a nation, this may be the hardest couple of weeks with this virus. We shouldn't see anyone, we shouldn't go out at all if we could help it. I did one last grocery trip that I was hoping would last us a good two weeks. I want absolutely nothing to do with a grocery store right now. All it did was make me sad.
This time, I wore a mask. This time a plexiglass partition was between me and any store worker. This time, I was scared. This time I felt pressure to not mess up or forget anything because I wasn't coming back for a while. This time, I changed my clothes right away and washed everything- even my purse.
I went to two stores, was incredibly careful and thorough, and sanitized everything before bringing it in my house. The entire excursion took me four hours. Four hours of alone time would be a dream come true, especially right now, but this experience could not have been more far from a dream. I hated every second.
We have what we need, we can keep to ourselves, we can stay home and hunker down for a while and for that, I am grateful.
I have hope to times in the future where I can leisurely walk down the aisles at my own pace again, enjoying the peaceful alone time without fear, without worry, without sadness.
Until then, we stay home, we do our part to fight this.
Sending love to all of you <3
Grocery shopping is a very close frenemy of mine. Before Josh and I had kids, we used to go grocery shopping together. We'd often go on a random Friday night. It was really nice- we'd talk and enjoy each other's company while there and put everything away together when we got home. I loved grocery shopping then.
The first few years we had kids, I began to HATE grocery shopping. Josh did most of it and I'd be at home with the kids, which was always difficult. Then I'd put everything away while my very small children were likely screaming, tantruming, and destroying the house. The whole thing felt overwhelming, even the list making before hand. I was way too tired for that crap.
The last year or so, I've been doing the bulk of the grocery shopping. Sometimes I will take Preston and Carter with me, but often, I GO ALL ALONE. I go up and down the aisles at whatever pace I want being able to thoughtfully look at items. Sometimes I enjoy the semi-silence and solitude of the trip. Others, I stick my headphones in and get to listen to whatever music I want. Oh the little things. I've really enjoyed going again. Grocery shopping turned back into my friend.
When the stay at home order was first beginning, I BEGGED to be the one to go to the grocery store. I hadn't left my house in over a week. I needed to freaking get out of there and get some solitude for a minute. Again, I found myself enjoying looking forward to the alone time and was grateful for it, especially now that all four of my children were with me 24/7, like actually and truly with me 24/7. I was certainly going to appreciate this trip to the grocery store more than most. Or at least I thought I would...
As I continued shopping, I noticed how morbid the vibe was in there. No one was looking at one another or smiling at one another or even speaking to one another. Every cart was pushed slowly, every face wore a frown. It was really hard to be there. Why was everyone acting like they could catch a sickness if they looked at each other? Why did the common courtesy of smiling as you passed someone disintegrate? I thanked the grocery store attendants for being there as they are also some of the unsung heroes of our time, and got out of there as fast as I could. This virus not only stole my freedom, but also my joy from one of the only places I ever get to go to by myself.
Fast forward to this week... this key time. We were told, as a nation, this may be the hardest couple of weeks with this virus. We shouldn't see anyone, we shouldn't go out at all if we could help it. I did one last grocery trip that I was hoping would last us a good two weeks. I want absolutely nothing to do with a grocery store right now. All it did was make me sad.
This time, I wore a mask. This time a plexiglass partition was between me and any store worker. This time, I was scared. This time I felt pressure to not mess up or forget anything because I wasn't coming back for a while. This time, I changed my clothes right away and washed everything- even my purse.
I went to two stores, was incredibly careful and thorough, and sanitized everything before bringing it in my house. The entire excursion took me four hours. Four hours of alone time would be a dream come true, especially right now, but this experience could not have been more far from a dream. I hated every second.
We have what we need, we can keep to ourselves, we can stay home and hunker down for a while and for that, I am grateful.
I have hope to times in the future where I can leisurely walk down the aisles at my own pace again, enjoying the peaceful alone time without fear, without worry, without sadness.
Until then, we stay home, we do our part to fight this.
Sending love to all of you <3
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