Saturday, December 14, 2013

9 Truths About my Pregnancies

So I was given this assignment from my teaching partner on facebook (Thanks Katie!). I posted it here since I'm not very good at keeping things short :)

1.) Being pregnant has been the most honorable thing I've ever done.  Having been on the other side of this --> longing, hoping, and trying everything to be pregnant, I think I have a special appreciation for it that not everyone can fully understand.

2.) Despite how honored, grateful, and joyful I felt about being pregnant, I'm not very "good" at it. If you've read anything I've ever wrote, I am a paranoid, anxious, worried, terrified, crazy pregnant lady.  That stems not only from what I have been through in my infertility journey, but also because I am a control freak and a worrier anyway.  There are so many things you have no control over when you're pregnant and that drove me to the brink of insanity... a lot :) Josh and I could pretty much count on me completely unraveling every couple of weeks... at least. 

3.) I am obsessed with ultrasounds.  I will beg, plead, and cry to try and get them if necessary.  A normal, positive ultrasound is one of the only things that provided my crazy worried head with any solace.  I never made it to an ultrasound appointment with my first pregnancy.  For my second pregnancy, we were able to see the baby on an ultrasound three times.  The first two ultrasounds we saw a little gray oval with a beating heart.  The third ultrasound we say a little gray oval with no beating heart. As hard as that was, I will forever be grateful to have been able to see the baby even though we never got to meet her. During my third pregnancy, we got to see our twins on ultrasound 17 times.

4.)  My first pregnancy ended very early; I only knew I was pregnant for 1.5 weeks and lost the baby 2 days after my brother died.  I had an ultrasound scheduled at my OBGYN's office that I was going to have to call an cancel.  You can imagine how devastating it was to look at my planner and see an appointment written down that you don't get to go to anymore and you can imagine how much I was dreading making that call to cancel.  One of my doctor's at U of M, Tall Fellow (if you read my blog you've heard of him many times), offered to take that burden off of me and call Lansing OBGYN himself and cancel the appointment for me.  That is the most unexpected act of kindness and compassion I've ever experienced.

5.)  My second pregnancy ended after 10 weeks.  My due date was October 29th.  After finding out in Ann Arbor that our baby wasn't going to make it,  there is nothing like having to call your parents through your own tears and tell them the grandchild they were hoping and praying for right along with us was not going to be.  I did not miscarry on my own and ended up having to have two surgeries.

6.)  During my third pregnancy, I started bleeding at 6 weeks and thought for sure, considering my past experiences, that I was going to loose my pregnancy.  Because of this bleed, I was able to have an ultrasound very early (which I loved), and I got to find out early that I was having twins (which I loved even more).  Looking back, after that scare, my pregnancy went off without a hitch and gave me my two amazing boys.  I find it also fun to note that my gut feeling was that these were two boys and I turned out to be right!  I would even joke to people not to even look at the girl clothes because I wasn't going to need them :) 

7.) While pregnant, one of my favorite things was eating a lot of cereal; it was my go-to snack when I was hungry.  I often had a bowl of cereal in the middle of the night when I was awake either worrying, being uncomfortable, or feeling my babies kick.  Josh and I called this my 'first breakfast.' 

8.)  Buying myself maternity clothes was one things I was most excited to do; I loved being big enough in the belly that I needed different clothes to wear.  Toward the end of my pregnancy, I was so big, I grew out of a lot of maternity clothes too.  2X moo moos were my outfit of choice.

9.) Another favorite moment from my pregnancies was watching Josh morph into a father.  There were small moments: feeling the babies kick, praying to the babies, being just as broken hearted as me when I miscarried, talking to the babies, making up nick-names for them, starting sentence with "I can't wait to...", and doing anything and everything in his power to make sure the babies and me were safe, that confirmed what I already knew: Josh was going to be the best dad and co-parent ever.  He has proven me right :) 

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