What it Really Means to be a Team

The school year has begun. This particular year has, yet again, brought quite a few changes into our house. Last year, we were heading into our basement school to start online learning. Carter was starting kindergarten.

This year, I have three boys in school full time. After not having that for over a year, it's been a B.I.G. adjustment. Preston is starting daycare. We've never done that before. I'm back to work- still teaching part time, but going in five days a week instead of two.

How's it all been going, you ask? Everything has been A LOT. A lot of feelings, worries, nervousness, and work.

Daycare and Back to School for P

Preston's transition to daycare has been very difficult. He's refusing to eat there, isn't sleeping much, and has had epic cry sessions and breakdowns at drop off. I have walked away from him grabbing for me and crying. It doesn't help that the daycare is next to my school. I have exactly one minute to pull myself together before needing to be ready to teach. I have sat in my car more than once and cried before walking in the building for work. 

I understand it, I really do. Small children have spent basically their entire lives at home with their immediate family. Preston isn't used to having to go anywhere or be with anyone he doesn't know. He is weary and skeptical. Despite how much we've prepped and how often we talk about the schedule and what's going to happen, a 3 year olds understanding of time is limited.

Thankfully, his transition back to preschool has been a little easier as it's familiar and for a shorter time. 

All of the teachers and students at both places have been really wonderful and welcoming so I have high hopes he will get into a good groove and begin to look forward to going to both places. 

Full Day School for C 

Carter is in school full time for the first time in his LIFE. To say he's been exhausted is a drastic understatement. Unfortunately, when my kids are tired, they don't lay around lethargic, they run around as if they've lost their minds. 

He also has had a hard time with being separated from us. I was anticipating this because he has always been the type of person who wanted to stay new his mommy at all times. Last year when my kids did get to go in person in the spring, he was so excited to be there and it was only for four hours so that transition was easy. I had a feeling this year's transition would be more difficult and that has been the case. Teary carline drop offs have been pretty common place and bedtime has been particularly difficult anticipating the next day having to be away from home. 

He has a great teacher and is spending time with great friends while at school.

Third Grade for N and J

It feels massive to say I have two third graders. That seems really old. Going back to school has been a smooth transition for my two biggest guys. They too have been exhausted, but being familiar with the building and routines and schedules and people has given them a huge advantage for sure. 

Although I do believe there is a lot of grace and understanding from their teachers as they have not had a regular full year of school since kindergarten, I do believe there is a lot of pressure to go back to business as usual. To be in school all day after being so out of practice and then have homework is a bit barfy, but we are working through it. I will not get on my homework soapbox right now. 

Me Back at Work

Going back into the classroom has mostly felt like riding a bike. Being with the age of kids I love the most teaching what I love the most feels great and it feels like I never left. What I hadn't anticipated was all the other things- paperwork things, learning new behavioral systems, having to make due with new standards and no resources to teach that were more difficult than I had anticipated. I was also very lonely at first. For many years I had my teaching partner in the room with me, planning with me, being there for all the big moments like open house and the first day of school. This year, I had my own room and am doing my own thing. It was a hard reminder at how isolating teaching can be. 

This year is also not what I was envisioning when I made plans to come back last spring. Despite the normalcy everyone is trying to conjure up, we are very much still in this pandemic and the learning curve of that has been steep for me. As much as so many things have stayed the same about teaching since I left, there is also so much that has changed.  

Being a Part of a Team

Overall, we have been busy, there has been a lot of working, and our time as a family has felt smaller than ever especially coming off of being together all the time. We have been really trying to make those family moments count. Whether it's reading together in the morning because we can't squeeze it into the evening that day, watching Full House on Friday nights, or cheering on our brothers at a soccer game, we are doing what we can. 

What I've learned, though all this newness and adapting, is what is really means to be on a team. We've all had to help each other differently this year. People's big feelings needs to be validated. All of us needs support with cleaning and school work and lunch making. Our family is big, there are a lot of people and there has been no bigger practice for teamwork than the beginning of this school year. In all honesty, most of the beginning of this school year I've been feeling like I've been drowning. A lot of living moment to moment, not a lot of planning in advance. There has been a lot of running around and forgetting.

My family truly loves me for who I am. They love me when I'm spinning out or breaking down and when I'm fun and silly. And I love them for who they are too. This new school year has NOT been easy, and we are still working at it... together.