2022 #oneword: PLAYFUL

HAPPY 2022! I'm entering slowly, taking small steps with caution. 

My family is keeping this weekend low key: trying to squeeze in last moments together before the hustle and bustle of real life starts Monday again. This winter break has been one of the best- a lot of togetherness, and an excellent balance of work and play. It has all felt so good for my soul and I can tell it was just what #hundtboysx4 needed too. It's time for my #oneword of 2022: PLAYFUL!

PLAYFUL: The Why

Throughout 2021, I continued to feel as though my sons were needing something more from me than I have been able to give them. Was it my time? Energy? Patience? Kindness? Yes to all (duh). What these things all have in common is the desire of connection. What my boys want more than anything, is me. But a better version of me than I've been showcasing.

After a challenging day of supporting my boys through online school or, lately, a day full of learning for them and teaching for me, I don't have much left to give. Here I was, the mom, giving my best energy and best self to other people's kids at school. Meanwhile, my own children are giving their best energy and best self to other adults all day in the classroom. Then we all get home and are spent. Maybe this is a common observation for a lot of families or not, but that's sure how it's been feeling for us.

What I feel lacking in time, energy, patience, and kindness, I think I could more than make up for if there were more play in my days. Each time I reflect on what I could've done or said different at the end of the day, I keep being pulled to the fact that if I played more, in general, it would help things tremendously. I think being intentional about adding play in will be foundational in achieving positivity in time, energy, patience, and kindness. 

What Does it Mean to be More Playful?

For me, I want to add playfulness in situations where having fun wouldn't be on my mind. I'm great at playing things with my boys: cars, Barbies, board games, etc. I'm not great, however, at finding opportunities for play that aren't obvious. 

I was sharing a parenting story the other day in my classroom when we were talking about being dis-regulated and how to calm down. Preston had just peed all over the bathroom floor so Josh and I were tending to that. Nolan and Carter started having their own fun of taking ice cubes out of the freezer and dropping them down the stairway. For some reason, I lost it on them. I was so upset that they would take a moment that was hard for everyone and act like that. 

  My sixth graders were helping me problem-solve it and giving me ideas of how I could've calmed down first before addressing him and then, one student said, "Why didn't you just run down the stairs and play the game with them?" He went one to explain that the game was creative and actually pretty smart since ice is only water and couldn't make a huge mess. That slapped me right in the face. He was absolutely right. Here was a moment I could've played with my kids... given them my time and energy... connected with them and instead I yelled and got angry with them. 

There are so many times where we take ourselves too seriously as adults, parents, teachers, etc. I need play in places where it isn't. I need more play in the way I teach behavioral expectations and character development. I need more play in practicing skills with my kids that I want them to master like taking turns, sharing, listening, cleaning, and praying. I take the teaching of my kids and students so seriously sometimes that I don't allow for playfulness to enter in. I miss moments of connection when I do that. I escalate situations when play could've deescalated it. 

Playful Plans for 2022

Here are some plans I have for 2022 with my #oneword of PLAYFUL:

• Pause a lot more in the moment- before I react, is this a place where I can be playful instead of some other feeling or emotion? 
• Weeknights are challenging for our family. Everyone is tired and irritable. I will start SMALL (my #oneword from 2021) and plan out some kind of play for #hundtboysx4 and I at least once a week. We could have a game night, something to do outdoors, even a weeknight activity outside the house. 
• I will share some jokes at least once a week at home and at school. My students and my boys know I am a sucker for corny dad jokes. They get me every time. 
• When I want to practice something with my boys or students, I will, again, pause to see how I can practice that thing through play. 
• #hundtboysx4 recently shared they loved the soft starts I would create for them in the mornings during virtual school. They want to do those again. Once a week seems manageable for that too. 
• I need to keep working at having there be blocks of time where my phone is totally away from me. Hard to find opportunities for playfullness when a text message or email is close by. 
• After situations happen where I lose my cool with my kids or students, I am going to reflect on those to specifically ask myself if there was an opportunity to be playful that I missed out on. Hopefully that will keep me improving. 

I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when I add in more play to my life. I'm going to start right now by running downstairs to play a little laser tag with my boys! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!