#oneword 2022: Reflections

In 2021, I made a commitment to be more PLAYFUL. It was an easy #oneword for me to pick because I knew how much I had been needing it, craving it. Because of my rigidity, my love of consistency, my natural tendencies to over plan, playing is hard for me sometimes. I'm not talking about playing with my kids- that is usually pretty easy, but I'm more speaking to the opportunity to play instead of something else. Handling things in a more playful way... choosing to play when I could've chosen to be angry or frustrated. Here are my reflections about the year-long quest to have more play!

Pausing

One of the things I wanted to do more of in 2022 was pausing before I reacted to situations. If I paused more, I could help myself think about ways in which I could handle things more playfully. While nothing is met with perfection (I have to say that to help remind MYSELF that I couldn't embrace this #oneword with perfect standards), I can absolutely say that I paused more. My kids, and Josh, have seen me walk away from situations for a minute so I can compose myself and think. When I reflect at night about things that were a frustration during the day, I try to think more about how I could help teach or fix a situation in a POSITIVE way, often involving more play.

In addition, we have talked a lot about pausing more as a family. While pausing doesn't always go directly to play, it DOES foster more connection, which was what this word was all about. My kids needed more connection from me and I wanted to feel more connected to them. If I can pause before reacting, there will be more connection there... absolutely... for sure... no doubt. 

More Play in Weeknights

Another plan for me with my #oneword PLAYFUL was to add in more play to our weeknights. They were feeling rushed and stressed with a lot of big feelings from everyone. My goal was to have some kind of play in each week. While I can't say I did that weekly, I CAN reflect that there is more play in my house. We learned many new board games and card games, we have done a ton of outside playing during the week. I am allowing for there to be more opportunities for play and letting other things not get done. 

The place where I added in more play the most, actually, was on the weekends. As 2022 kept going, I was noticing that we were trying to slam all our productivity into Saturdays and Sundays and it was not feeling good. We were all so busy during the week that everything else got pushed to the weekend: grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, chores, etc. The weekends weren't feeling very PLAYFUL at all. After reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer (which was a GAME-CHANGER for me), we created a Sabbath Day. A day for rest and worship. A day where we only did things we WANTED to do instead of things we HAD to do. Saturdays became days of no chores, no homework, no errands. It, instead, became a day of games, walks, treats, naps, WHATEVER. It has truly been transformative. It has truly added in more play to our home. 

Other Ways I Tried to be Playful 

I am on a quest to say yes more to my kids. Think about ALL the requests we parents get in a day from our children. Questions about food (can I have a snack? is one of the things I get asked most), if someone can or cannot do something (can I go outside?), and infinity requests for Mom (or Dad) to see something, watch something, or do something (can I show you something?). In my intentionality to say yes more, I have had more play in my life. Anytime someone asks me, "Mom, can you play with me?" I work my hardest for my answer to be yes no matter what. If it's a no, I make a plan for when it can be a yes. If one of my boys wants to try something or help me do something, I try to make those a yes as often as I can too. "Can I help you make dinner?" is a good example of one of those types of questions. Often, my answer is no to those requests because I am either wanting to have control to do it myself or worried something may break or ruin if I say yes. A yes equals more play, more connection, more quality time. 

Also, I am trying to be more PLAYFUL in the everyday. I'm trying to make more things a game. Asking someone to clean up everything blue is way more fun than a request from me to clean the playroom. Even if I'm not a fan of their music, blasting whatever song my boys request is more fun. #hundtboysx4 seem to be more open to taking pictures if I make it playful too. 

Finally, I've been willing to put in the extra work that may be necessary to make situations, adventures, holidays, etc more playful. I am thoughtful of what we can play with when we travel and adventure. I plan out ways to make a doctor's appointment or a holiday celebration more full of play. 

Why Play Matters So Much

When my boys are grown, I want them to remember SO many things we did that were PLAYFUL during their childhood. They have a mom who likes things just so. They have a mom who is well planned, tidy, organized, and often stressed out. My boys know these things about me. I also want them to have a mom who loved nothing more than to play with them, rarely said no to a good opportunity for fun, and went out of her way to make things more fun. Childhood is short. I want to build strong routines and traditions of play now so that when they are all bigger, they can love playing just as much as they do now. Being more PLAYFUL is where it's at... period.