Josh and I have a Christmas journal that we write in every year. It was something we found at Bronner's. There are questions in there about what family gatherings took place, what food was served, what gifts were exchanged. We always put a picture in there too each year of our tree and gifts. I leafed through the past couple of years and although there was a lot of joy and A LOT to be thankful for, last year's journal carried with it a lot of sadness. We wrote about the baby we had lost and the fact that it was our first Christmas without my brother. We wrote about our desire to be parents and our hopelessness about ever getting there. It was honest, but not exactly a typical journal about Christmas.
This year's Christmas was special. While I did not want any gifts for the babies (still way too far away from them getting here for something crazy like that). I did ask my family for maternity clothes this year and that's basically all I got.
There are so many small moments throughout this pregnancy when I arrive to these places that I NEVER thought I would get to. I have hoped and hoped to be in a place where I could wear maternity clothes for such a long time. It was amazing to unwrap yet another cute shirt or a pair of jeans with that elastic on top.
While I'm still feeling nervous and apprehensive and a little stir crazy since we haven't had a doctor's appointment in about four weeks, I am overwhelmed with appreciaition. Every day these babies show me what a miracle they and how lucky I am to be a part of this.
Keep hoping, keep praying...
|Christmas 2012: 19 Weeks Exactly :)|