Monday, December 22, 2014

Back to Ann Arbor: June 18th, 2014

It's summer now.  Mostly this brings the gift of extra time and relaxation for me and a ton of play time for me to have with the boys!  WOO!!   However, this season also brings a big decision for Josh and I, which is talking seriously about baby #3...

This feels early to both Josh and I because the boys just turned one about a month ago, but if we're going to need to go down the whole fertility route again, summer is the perfect time to get that started.  I know I'm part-time now and don't work as often, but in a way that makes all the appointments that are necessary with Ann Arbor even more difficult.  If/when I have to go there on a Thursday or a Friday, I will feel terrible thinking about having to take time off away from my sixth graders when I already get so little time with them already.  In the summer, I just plain have more time.  Often, Ann Arbor needed to see me every other day; it's a big time commitment this 'trying-to-get-pregnant-with-fertility-medicine thing.' 

So, Thursday June 18th, only a week after school had gotten out, I found myself making the all too familiar drive to the U of M Center for Reproductive Medicine. 

I hadn't been there since I first found out I was pregnant with Nolan and Judah (September of 2012), but this was really like riding a bike.  All the things I always stare at on the way: the Mason water tower, Leslie High School, getting on 94 in Jackson, the Weber's Inn exit in Ann Arbor, and finally, pulling into the parking lot came back to me so vividly. 

Walking into the office was truly surreal.  The secretary recognized me right away even though it had been over 1.5 years and the waiting room was busy with people and everything came flooding back to me: all the fear, hope, excitement, nervousness, etc.  But this time, I had two beautiful babies waiting for me at home and that made my experience very different too.  I was a survivor of infertility.  My emotions were overflowing waiting to be called back.  I could feel that lump in my throat telling me that I was close to tears.  What kind of tears though, I wasn't sure...  

Meeting with my doctor was great as always.  He was so excited to hear about the twins and how everything had turned out and was so proud to hear I had birthed such big babies at 38 weeks. 

His advice for us moving forward, though, was actually a bit surprising to me....

See, I have had two period cycles all on my own in May and June.  His suggestion was for Josh and I to try on our own for a while.  Not too long he said, there's no point waiting the year they tell everyone when they first start trying to have a baby, but maybe three months.  If nothing had happened then, I would go right back on the medicine I was taking before.  This made me pause a little; it was certainly not that answer I was expecting.  I thought for sure I'd go right back on medicine and get back on this train of shots, getting blood drawn, having a million ultrasounds, worrying, and generally having the Center for Reproductive Medicine run my life and my schedule... the stuff I was now used to.

I must've looked almost a little disappointed to him because he said, "Think of it... what if you don't need us?!  What if you don't have to come to appointments, have to take any medicine, have to make this long drive?!" 

The thought of getting pregnant on my own hadn't even entered my mind...

Could that really be an option for us?! 

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