2020 Parenting and Teaching: Better Together
I saw a meme recently that really super triggered me. The meme said something to effect of "Parents please stop calling what you're doing homeschooling- unless you are planning the lessons and grading the assignments, you aren't teaching. What are you doing is called parenting."
I tensed up, I felt myself get hot. I read that post over and over again becoming more and more uncomfortable with it the more I read it.
Teachers are educated and experts and, unfortunately, are very used to having to make magic happen in situations that are insurmountable and difficult.
Whether or not your child is starting school remotely or in person or a hybrid of the two, I can assure you that your son or daughter's teacher is busting their butt. Teaching is hard, incredibly hard, without a pandemic and mask wearing and online learning and social distancing. No teacher asked for these circumstances just like no parent did. None of these teachers want to teach this way. They are doing their absolute best.
What triggered me, however, was not about the fact that parents have no idea what teachers do. For that, I agree 100%. What triggered me was the claim that what parents are doing while their kids are at home learning online is regular parenting.
That is laughable.
That is false.
That could not be more wrong.
A few weeks ago, I listened to our district's board meeting to hear the recommendation for how my three sons would start their school year. I listened as the superintendant and curriculum director shared survey data, different scenarios and their pros and cons, statistics, and committee work.
Listen, I knew how this was going to go, I knew what they were going to say.
But, when the superintendant said that he recommended we start the year 100% online, I still put my head in a pillow and cried. Instantly.
If I'm honest, these weren't just a few tears, I was Jason Mesnick hanging over a glass balcony sobbing (Bachelor fans anyone?!)
Because of my experience this spring when schools shut down, I knew instantly that my responsibilities were going to skyrocket, the contention in my house was going to skyrocket, my own personal control freak stress was going to skyrocket.
As a mom, I am obviously one of my children's most important teachers and role models- that goes without saying. I am helping teach them to love reading, how to be a compassionate, aware, and active global citizen, and how to cook. I'm asking them to clear their plates at dinner, make their beds in the morning, and try their best at everything they do. I'm reminding them to say please and thank you 1,248 times a day, to use their words instead of their fists, to make things right when they've done something wrong. I support them in their education and their passions, hold them accountable, follow through, and love on them all the way along. I could go on forever, right? Parenting is all-consuming.
All of these things don't stop or shift to someone else's responsibility because my children are doing their school work from a desk in our basement. All that is still there.
But, friends, so much is added...
No one's coming here to give Judah the stink eye when he tells me he isn't going to write- that falls on me.
No one's coming here to tell Nolan to go back and add more details because we all know he has more to say to show what he knows- that falls on me.
No one's coming here to tell Carter not to speak at a volume 11 when he's practicing drawing a rectangle because it's distracting his brothers- that falls on me.
Little things like this are going to happen literally hundreds of times throughout the 'school day.'
There is no bigger fan of my boys' teachers than I am (they are absolutely sensational, for real), but they are going to be behind a screen.
I am going into their school year having all kinds of empathy for what teachers are doing and being asked to do. I know they are working hard, I know they are working long hours, and I know they making the best of an absolute impossible situation. I'm going to write them nice emails, I'm going to check in and see how they are doing. I'm going to ask how I can help.
I'm hoping my sons' teachers go into this year having all kinds of empathy for what parents are doing and being asked to do. I hope teachers know how hard parents are working to create the best learning environment they can, juggling work and multiple kids, and trying to support their child and hold them accountable for their learning. I hope my sons' teachers check in on us and see how we are doing and ask how they can help make what we are doing at home easier too.
We all need to be in this together. A parent/teacher partnership has never been so important, has never needed to be more positive and mutually respectful as this year. I need these teachers and these teachers need me.
I am never ever going to claim that what these teachers are doing this year is regular teaching and I do not expect any teacher to think what I am doing at home to be regular parenting.
This is not what we are used to, not what we asked for. Teachers, I am your biggest fan- we are much better together.
I tensed up, I felt myself get hot. I read that post over and over again becoming more and more uncomfortable with it the more I read it.
Pandemic Teaching Isn't Normal Teaching
A lot of people 'liked' the post. I get it, I really do. The teacher that posted it was well intentioned I know. She was trying to share her feelings, I assume, about how frustrating it is for people outside of teaching to think they have ANY idea what teachers actually do. Unless you have been a teacher yourself or worked in a school you don't have a clue. Not.A.Freaking.Clue.Teachers are educated and experts and, unfortunately, are very used to having to make magic happen in situations that are insurmountable and difficult.
Whether or not your child is starting school remotely or in person or a hybrid of the two, I can assure you that your son or daughter's teacher is busting their butt. Teaching is hard, incredibly hard, without a pandemic and mask wearing and online learning and social distancing. No teacher asked for these circumstances just like no parent did. None of these teachers want to teach this way. They are doing their absolute best.
Pandemic Parenting Isn't Normal Parenting
What triggered me, however, was not about the fact that parents have no idea what teachers do. For that, I agree 100%. What triggered me was the claim that what parents are doing while their kids are at home learning online is regular parenting.
That is laughable.
That is false.
That could not be more wrong.
A few weeks ago, I listened to our district's board meeting to hear the recommendation for how my three sons would start their school year. I listened as the superintendant and curriculum director shared survey data, different scenarios and their pros and cons, statistics, and committee work.
Listen, I knew how this was going to go, I knew what they were going to say.
But, when the superintendant said that he recommended we start the year 100% online, I still put my head in a pillow and cried. Instantly.
If I'm honest, these weren't just a few tears, I was Jason Mesnick hanging over a glass balcony sobbing (Bachelor fans anyone?!)
Because of my experience this spring when schools shut down, I knew instantly that my responsibilities were going to skyrocket, the contention in my house was going to skyrocket, my own personal control freak stress was going to skyrocket.
"New Normal" = New Responsibilities
All of these things don't stop or shift to someone else's responsibility because my children are doing their school work from a desk in our basement. All that is still there.
But, friends, so much is added...
No one's coming here to give Judah the stink eye when he tells me he isn't going to write- that falls on me.
No one's coming here to tell Nolan to go back and add more details because we all know he has more to say to show what he knows- that falls on me.
No one's coming here to tell Carter not to speak at a volume 11 when he's practicing drawing a rectangle because it's distracting his brothers- that falls on me.
Little things like this are going to happen literally hundreds of times throughout the 'school day.'
There is no bigger fan of my boys' teachers than I am (they are absolutely sensational, for real), but they are going to be behind a screen.
Showing Empathy, All Around... Period.
I'm hoping my sons' teachers go into this year having all kinds of empathy for what parents are doing and being asked to do. I hope teachers know how hard parents are working to create the best learning environment they can, juggling work and multiple kids, and trying to support their child and hold them accountable for their learning. I hope my sons' teachers check in on us and see how we are doing and ask how they can help make what we are doing at home easier too.
We all need to be in this together. A parent/teacher partnership has never been so important, has never needed to be more positive and mutually respectful as this year. I need these teachers and these teachers need me.
I am never ever going to claim that what these teachers are doing this year is regular teaching and I do not expect any teacher to think what I am doing at home to be regular parenting.
This is not what we are used to, not what we asked for. Teachers, I am your biggest fan- we are much better together.
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