CARTER IS EIGHT

 Dear Carter,

HAPPY EIGHTH BIRTHDAY!!! This year was a big one for you and brought about a lot of changes and a lot of growth. 

Things You Are Loving

This was the year you learned how to tie your shoes and play basketball on a team coached by Dad. During your eighth year, you discovered a love for magic. You got a magic kit for Christmas and you putting on magic shows is something I really enjoy. You’ve taught yourself many songs on the piano, but haven’t started any lessons yet. Hours and hours of doing the lessons the keyboard has. You playing me some Christmas songs was one of my favorites. You love Cat’s Cradle (a LOT). This was also the year you tried lacrosse and you seem to really love it. One of my greatest joys as your mom is to see you truly enjoy something. You also decided gymnastics wasn’t your thing, which was actually quite surprising considering your talent at it, but I’m glad you spoke up and let us know your needs.

When it comes to being outside, you enjoy shooting baskets, riding your bike or a scooter, and especially jumping on the trampoline. All of you love the trampoline, but you spend more time on it than anyone else. You often jump all alone. Your forward and back flips are insane! Carter, you don’t always love hiking or taking walks in nature, which is something we do a lot of, but we’ve realized that you will walk a whole lot better if there is an end destination of something cool to see. You also really love walking along water or to water. 

I love watching the special relationship you have with each of your brothers. You and Preston love to play store or with the kitchen items. You also love to make train tracks together and often read together with Dad or I before bed. Judah and you can have a rollercoaster relationship. Usually the two of you get along so well- you play and play in the basement together. If things go south with the two of you, though, it gets really rough. Sometimes you’ll go through stages where you need to take a break from one another. Nolan and you love to be silly together, shoot baskets, and play games. 

The Spicy One

The largest struggle in your eighth year is handling your big feelings. You can be a very spicy child, my love. You want to do things your own way and often don’t like to listen to coaches or experts that try to teach you. Your energy, voice level, and strong opinions mean that you take up space (sometimes more than your fair share). Your words both delight and can wound. If you’re upset you meltdown quickly and are hard to reason with until you’ve dysregulated yourself. You are probably one of the most loyal and loving people I’ve ever known. You are a sore loser. It is easy for you to pick up on how others are feeling. All of these things are a lot. They just are. We’ve been working very hard together to make sure you are handling your big feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt people or things and that we label, talk, and reflect a lot on reactions to situations. I very much want the deeply loving, caring, loyal, helpful, and leader side of you to shine as much as possible. I know it must be hard to feel so much and I know it’s especially hard to calm some of those feelings down in the moment. We’ve always known these things about you, sweet guy, and this year it’s all been coming out a lot more.

Please know that I love so many of these things about you and am your biggest supporter. These big feelings are good. There is no one who can light up a room like you, make someone feel better like you, and shows love like you do. The other day you told me that you miss me at school a lot and that sometimes you just think about me and it helps you feel better. You also got in the car the other day after school and said, “Mom, I’ve been so excited to see you all day!” Ugh… you make my heart explode sometimes :) 

This Year and Beyond

School is best for you when you stay busy and engaged. Your teacher is amazing at helping you shine positively by letting you crack occasional jokes, help teach, and participate often in the learning. You continue to love math the best and are doing challenge math both at home and at school. You and I love reading silly books together and you’ve discovered a series you really like about a magician named Carter called the Magic Misfits and are on book two of that.

Carter, you are our little foodie. You’ll at least try anything and usually like most foods. I’m grateful for you because cooking for a big family is tough sometimes. Chinese food, french onion soup, pizza, and most Italian foods are some favorites. You’re also really into rice right now. 

Next year, I hope you keep finding things that you love. I hope you are a positive leader in your classroom and are given many chances to be helpful. I hope you label your feelings and keep finding strategies that allow you to take breaks to calm down and communicate what you need in a kind manner. I hope you still love to snuggle with me. Finally, I hope you show many others outside our family how loving you can be. 

Being your mom is a privilege. I love you so always no matter what. 

-Mama