Wednesday, April 25, 2012

SERIOUSLY?!

Okay, I had to write this post to vent out what happened to me today.

So I'm at a Sparrow lab getting my blood drawn.  Ann Arbor is monitoring my HCG Beta levels as I "come down" from my miscarriage.  They are looking for my number to be less than five because then I will be officially and completely "not pregnant."  I have to get it drawn every week.  I'm sure you can imagine how enjoyable this has been for me. 

After waiting, I'm in the room about to get my blood drawn and another Sparrow employee and a younger women walk into the room as well. 

I hear the Sparrow employee ask her, "okay, so we're checking your progesterone and HCG BETA then?" 

REALLY?! I have a newly pregnant person in the room WITH me?!  This has got to be some kind of sick joke.

The young women answers that she has "no idea" but just knows whatever she's getting checked she needs to get checked in another 48 hours.  

I am already steaming because when I've been lucky enough to get pregnant, I kept track of every single appointment, every single number, every single blood draw.  How could this person not even know what she was at the Sparrow lab to do?! 

Then...it gets worse...

The patient is clearly a talker.  She begins telling her story explaining that she is twenty and happened to go in for a physical and the doctor told her she was pregnant.  SURPRISE!  Then she goes on to say that she is shocked and that she's so proud of herself because her mom and dad were 17 and 18 when they had her and her sister was 19 when she had her first baby.  She got to the oldest age before being pregnant. 

How is this fair?  How is this just?  How is this right?  

I'm getting blood drawn to signal the official death and end of my baby: a baby I prayed for, saved for, planed for, begged for, tried so hard for, and wanted so badly.  This women and I could not be more different and could not be in more of a different place. 

I'd like to say that this is the first time something like this has happened to be over the last twoish years, but it's not.  Things like this have seemingly happened over and over and over again.  God, you're a real wise cracker. HILARIOUS!  

I want to scream.  I want to throw things.  I want to start sobbing.  I want to escape.  

I, of course, didn't do any of these things.  I let them prick me for the bagillionth time, put a smile on my face, and walked out. 

Anyone else have these this happen or am I just lucky? :)

I hope this teaches, heals, connects, and maybe even provides a well needed laugh at how funny life is. 

2 comments:

  1. Not exactly this same slap in the face. But, I can relate to the post-miscarriage blood tests. They suck!! Hope you're under 5 now!
    With Love!

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  2. This is just appalling, but I've had this happen to me several times, It is just not right! I do love reading your blog and I hope to put a smile on your face. I have nominated you for a 'One Lovely Blog award' if you accept the award you have to post a link to the person who gave it to you, post 7 random things about yourself and post links to 15 blogs that have inspired you or you enjoy reading, also you can post the 'One Lovely Blog Award' pic to your page. You'll find details on my page http://babiesplease.blogspot.com/2012/04/one-lovely-blog-award.html .xx.

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