Monday, September 23, 2013

Sleepless Nights Because of... Myself?!

When you are a parent of newborns, there are a certain amount of sleepless nights you can count on: waking up every 2-4 hours for feedings, the occasional rolling onto the stomach and not happy about it situation, and the ever growing amount of wake ups just to get some one-on-one time with Mommy or Daddy.

Josh and I have anticipated these and have gotten fairly good at maneuvering around them.  Of course, we have worked out a system.  I wake up first on the even days, Josh wakes up first on the odd days.  If Nolan and/or Judah needs to be fed, then it's all hands on deck. 

When our twins turned three months, there was a blissful period for about 3 weeks when both boys slept through the night fairly consistently.  And when I say sleeping through the night, it was a 10pm to like 6:30 or 7:00am kind of sleeping through the night.  Josh and I could think, function, remember things, and got used to having our brains back.  When the school year started and I went back to work (a coincidence or not), my boys reverted back to their more infant ways and began to wake up during the night for any number of reasons.

This is all a part of parenthood and I get it, I really do.  Nolan and Judah are doing the best they can and so are Josh and I. 

This isn't the problem...

Shockingly (or not), I am the problem.

Josh is now having to take care of three babies during the middle of the night: Nolan, Judah, AND ME.

The past few nights, after I have gotten up with a baby or babies, I have been completely unable to fall back asleep.  Friday night, for example, my angel Nolan decided to wake up around 12:30am. I got up and got him back to sleep after about 30 minutes.  I was looking forward to laying my head down on my pillow to fall immediately asleep, but NO.  I tossed, turned, and my brain raced with random things including the fact that I don't have a fall center piece for our dining table and a small freak out if I threw away a Target bag that still had things in it.  At 2:00am, both boys decided to wake up needing a diaper change, outfit change, and a feeding and I was still awake.  Almost 1.5 hours later (at 3:30am) I finally fell asleep.  So now I was up for 3 hours during the night only partially because of either of my children. 

A very similar scenario happened last night.  Nolan woke up again on his own.  I was able to get him back to sleep quickly, within fifteen minutes.  I then proceeded to be up for over two hours on my own accord.  I graded papers, checked emails, watched TV, etc etc before finally getting back to sleep only to have Nolan wake up again at 3:30. 

What this means for poor Joshua, who is a MUCH better sleeper than I, is that on any given recent night, he has had to listen to Nolan cry, Judah cry, and me toss around, me sigh out of frustration, me get up and out of bed to get a drink of water, pace around, or turn on the TV. So now all four of us have been totally sleep deprived for days. 

You have got to be kidding me that I can have sleep issues even when I'm operating on hardly no sleep.  Curse my inability to fall back asleep once awoken.  Clearly I'm the one in need of sleep training.  

GRRRRRR.   

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