Saturday, June 16, 2012

When Your Doctor Says "Huh" it's Never a Good Sign

Josh and I were in Ann Arbor the other day getting my uterus and ovaries scanned to see how the beginning stages of my injections were going.  On day 3, all seemed fine.  On day 7, all seemed fine.  Then came day 10...

Tall Fellow was actually doing my scan because it was a Sunday.  During the week, there is an ultrasound tech who always does the scans, but she doesn't work on the weekends so doctors do that instead.  Everyone is always surprised when I talk about having to go to Ann Arbor on a Saturday or Sunday and are even more surprised still when I tell them I've seen a doctor, but, like they say at U of M Center for Reproductive Medicine, "a reproductive cycle does not take weekends and holidays off...so neither do we."

Anyway...so Tall Fellow is scanning my uterus and so far everything is looking fine, just like the other days.  Then he kinda fishes out from one side to the other of my uterus and then Josh and I hear a "huh" escape his lips.  He looked closer and then tells us that "something is in your uterus."  I'm sorry, something!?

He fishes around for a bit more and shows me where he is talking about and then lists off all the different choices of what this something could be: blood clot, left over tissue they didn't get from my MVA surgery after my miscarriage, or even a baby (that's right he said it). 

Many thoughts flood me from that last bomb because, as bad as this might sound, I honestly don't want to be pregnant right this second.  I was just starting to stop bleeding from what I thought was my period here on Day 10 and this brought back a lot of memories from my first miscarriage.  I thought I had my period, but didn't so I was just bleeding for the first part of my pregnancy and we ended up loosing the baby.  I did not want that to happen (obviously).  Tall Fellow, who is starting to know me well, could read my brain spinning and starting spewing out how little chance that is to be a baby so to "not even think about it!"  He said most likely it was one of the other two choices he listed. 

All three of us had a good laugh while shaking our heads about this something in my uterus because after all, what else could we do?  I think the shaking of the head had a lot of unsaid words to it.  Tall Fellow, Josh, and I would all like me to be normal in my nether regions and it seems like, over the last year that I've been with Ann Arbor, things have been anything but normal.     

He shuffled off to show the scan to a doctor that was working and came back to tell us that we needed to stop our medicine for this cycle.  He explained that he knows this sucks, but regardless of whatever is in my uterus, this is not a perfect environment to fertilize an egg once my cycle was ready for that.  The last thing I'd want to do is get pregnant and then have a miscarriage because my uterus wasn't set up to be a good environment to grow a baby.  Tall Fellow wanted me to come in for a hysteroscopy.  This is a visual examination of the uterus and uterine lining using an endoscope inserted through the vagina.  Basically, he wanted to see my uterus on camera to see what this something was.  Following this, I would most likely need surgery to get it out.  Yay, another surgery. 

So on Thursday, my first day of summer I might add, after a 4 hour long language arts meeting, I also might add, we went to Ann Arbor for my hysteroscopy.  They got a new machine to do this that no one had used before with about a  27 or 30' screen.  The nurse asked me if I would mind having a technician from Olympus be in the room with them while they performed the hysteroscopy so that he could troubleshoot.  I wanted to say, Are you kidding?  So many people have seen my vaginal area over the last two years that you can broadcast it on You Tube for all I care at this point.  I answered instead, "I don't care at all."  I have no shame. 

I'll tell you what, seeing your uterus, Fallopian tube openings, cervix, etc, on a big screen in basically HD was just a treat.  I"m so glad Josh, two doctors (Tall Fellow and my real doctor), a nurse, and a Olympus worker could all enjoy.  We were able to all see clearly that I had some left over tissue that mostly looked dead in my otherwise very normal and great looking uterus.  They took some pictures and then the hysterscopy was over.  Tall Fellow then discusses surgery with us and after a long wait, gets it scheduled for Friday (yesterday, which was Josh's birthday).  I was actually going under full anesthesia and was going to have the surgery at the U of M hospital.

The U of M hospital is insane; we had never been.  The surgery waiting room was packed. After waiting about 2 hours, Josh and I got to go back into pre-op; that place was packed as well.  I found myself wishing that I could've had the surgery at my doctor's office like my last one so at least I was around familiar faces.  A nurse started my I.V. in one arm and then it began to swell like a balloon so we had to try the other (curse you skinny, temperamental veins).  Other people stopped in to talk to me and then finally Tall Fellow walked up to check on us and talk to us again about the surgery.  He said that they would ask about scheduling a post operation appointment, but that I didn't need one because he "sees us enough." :)  

In the surgery room, there was a nurse, three anesthesiologists, a resident student, another fellow from my doctor's office who I've never met, Tall Fellow, and my doctor.  This was some serious stuff!  

Surgery went well and we were finally able to go home after spending 7 hours there.  Tall Fellow told me this was going to be short; I will know better next time that just because the actual surgery takes like 15 minutes doesn't mean my experience will be "short."   What a great way for Josh to spend his birthday and to boot, we had to postpone his birthday dinner with his family since we got home so late.  

Hope you enjoyed this latest installment of the adventures of the reproductively challenged.  Until next time...

I hope this teaches, heals, and connects.      

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