The Luckiest No Matter What!

Today my brother would've been 31 years old.  I realized that he has been gone for over 5.5 years, which is incredible for so many reasons.  To some extent, it feels like yesterday- other times it seems like so long ago because of how much my life has changed.   As I drove to work this morning, he was on my mind.  Eric is often on my mind on the way to work.  I think it's because of the peace and quiet a car ride can bring you without three kids in the back.  I'm not even really sure what I think about- it's not really memories or wondering how he is, but more just seeing his face, saying his name in my mind.  Allowing my heart to feel his absence and giving myself permission and some time to grieve all over again.  It's hard, sometimes, remembering him.  The last couple years of his life, he wasn't himself.  He was often a lying, cheating, stealing addict... crippled sick with his disease. He was also helpless, hopeless, and despera...

I tell my sixth graders all the time how freaking powerful knowledge is- in so many different ways, in so many different forms.  We talk about how empowering it feels to be knowledgeable about a topic.  How smarts and intelligence and information is one of the only things someone cannot take from you once you have it.  How their pen, their pencil, their voice is their most powerful weapon.  How they "are all geniuses and the world EXPECTS their contribution." (read Angela Maier's Classroom Habitudes - game changer!)  I say these things, I believe these things with every bit of my being. I love learning myself. Because we teach so globally in Team 61, I am constantly learning about the world, which has made me into quite the bleeding heart.  When you know all the needs that are out there- the heartbreak, the fury, the passion, the weight of so many causes and people, natural disasters, corruption, inequity, injustice, etc etc.  I walk around heavy w...

Dear everyone we love, care about, and spend time with: We, the Hundts, are sorry.  So very sorry.  We're sorry we haven't seen you in person.  We're sorry we haven't sat around a dinner table with you, or made a play-date.  We're sorry we never took that sledding trip, Impression 5 meet up, or invited you to come over and play in our basement.  We're sorry that we went weekends without stopping by.  We're sorry, especially to Nolan and Judah's cousins, Silesia and Harvie, that we missed milestones in your growth.  You are little and time is precious and goes quickly.  We are sorry, to all the people we love, we haven't been in your presence and that you haven't been in ours.  We, the Hundts, have been sick.... a lot.  It is the end of March- the first day of spring has come and gone, and less than a week ago, I was still reading a thermometer that said 103.5 from yet another battle in our house with the flu. This winter gave us ...

I am one of five kids. My parents, God bless them, had five children in 10.5 years- four girls, one boy.  Being the oldest, I remember so much of when my younger siblings were little and so much of what it was like to be one of five.  It was loud, crazy, and ridiculously loving.  We had more than enough people to keep us occupied, enough people to play games, enough people to play sports, enough people to play pretend about everything, and plenty of people to conjure up ideas and adventures.  What was tricky, was being able to stand on your own in a family like that- to take time for yourself, to find respite, to be alone if you wanted.  Yes, every kid is different, but you can imagine how easily a brain might be jumbled to try to keep track of five special unique humans. My parents had be so intentional in order to keep up and keep track of our individual talents, our likes and dislikes, our favorite meals, our good friends, and our individual personality tra...

Today our world lost someone important- a beautiful author, filmmaker, do-gooder, joy spreader... To me, her impact was oh so great- both in my teaching and in the growing and cultivating of life-long readers in my sons.  They- my students and my boys- LOVE her books.  See her books here  . Check them out! You may have read the dating profile she wrote about  her husband that was posted in the New York Times ten days ago.  If not, read it here . I read it myself ten days ago and was immediately filled with great sadness and regret.  Here I was, being a huge fan of hers, and I no idea she was even sick- certainly no idea she was dying.  I had also always wanted to thank her for the amazing impact her work has made on me and especially our son, Judah.  I meant to write her a letter or try to send her an email, but I never did.  Tears rolled down my face for most of that morning- out of grief, out of sadness, connecting the love she clear...

My whole adult life, I'd always wanted someone I was close with to decide to do a destination wedding.  How incredible to travel to somewhere awesome and celebrate together.  When my sister Colleen announced that her and her finance were going to plan a wedding in Cancun, Josh and I were thrilled.... FINALLY!  Then we remembered... we're parents now.  Now just parents, but parents to three kids under four.  Hmmm.... this was not exactly the destination wedding scenario I had in my mind all those years ago ;)  However, Cancun is a special place for Josh and I.  We have visited two other times- both at some of the lowest, saddest, and most hopeless points in my life.  We first visited in the midst of our early go-rounds with fertility medicine and doctors appointments; it was a spring break get-a-way escape and was much needed.  Our second visit was the winter after losing my brother and our first miscarriage.  We were so grateful to be ...

When I last posted in October, I was crying in Foods for Living trying to figure out how to cut out wheat, rice, soy, beef, chicken, carrots, peas, coconut, cashews, almonds, and maybe a few more I can't even pick out of my brain right now from our diet after finding out about Judah's food allergies.  I was grateful the allergies were moderate and not severe.  I felt guilty for having not found out about the food allergies sooner. I was a little lost trying to figure out what to cook and how to get my questions answered. Most importantly, I was worried about Judah- how he would feel when he had to say 'no thank you' to so many foods he'd be offered in the future.  Feeling worried about if/when his skin would clear up and if these food allergies were really the answer.  Feeling worried if there'd be more or worse allergies on the horizon.   Over the rest of October and November, we cut all those foods.  We ate ham, turkey, and especially pork for prote...