Monday, January 28, 2013

9 weeks or 9 months? I'm confused...

Week of October 25th, 2012: 9 Weeks
I am a basketcase....a certified crazy basketcase...

I'm having a heck of a hard time not getting seen by a doctor this week. 
The most difficult part of leaving our last appointment (at 8 weeks) was knowing that we would not have another appointment until week 12.  This could bring tears to my eyes just thinking about it.  It will have been the longest we weren't seen by a doctor, unless we were on a break from medicine, in well over two years.  No ultrasounds, no reassurance, nothing.  Lord help me! 

This time is dragging by slower than I ever imagined time to drag. 

I'm constantly paranoid, constantly scared, constantly worried. 
I honestly think the biggest struggle is this fact...9 weeks is as long as I've ever made it pregnant. 

This realization, this fact, is haunting me day in and day out. to the point where I am not even sleeping well.

I don't know how "normal" pregnant people do this 9 month thing.

Please...PLEASE let everything be okay...I still have to wait 3 more weeks to find out for sure...

Keep praying...keep hoping...

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