Saturday, January 19, 2013

Blood and Pregnancy are NOT Supposed to Mix

Monday September 24th...5 weeks and 6 days
I bled today.

I'm crazy and always think I'm bleeding so I go to the bathroom to 'check' as often as my job as teacher will allow.  Today though it was different and I knew for sure it was blood.  I actually left my students, who had just walked in and were getting prepared, to run down the hall to the nearest bathroom and checked.  I prayed and prayed and prayed my instinct was wrong, but it wasn't.  I was bleeding. 

Having a room full of kids who need you sobers you up real quick so I went back into my classroom and went about my day as normal for an hour until lunch.  I was able to see my teaching partner to whisper in her ear that I was bleeding and she immediately showed me that her arm was covered in goose bumps.  I raced straight to the bathroom again...still bleeding. 

Josh alerted the proper authorities (Ann Arbor and my OBGYN in Lansing) and I alerted everyone who knew we were pregnant and the next thing I knew, I was driving to go get more blood drawn on my lunch, barely able to process what had happened to me.  Not yet, not this time, please please no. 

I tried to make the rest of the day go by as fast and normal as I could and waited and waited to get my results back.  I felt very thankful for the people in my life that day because they didn't react how many would.  Most people would say things like, "everything is going to be okay"  People know better than to say those things to me because it HASN'T been okay.  The very small amount of people that knew I was pregnant offered prayers instead, which was perfect. 

My blood results came back and my beta was still increasing.  Now it was at 55,937.2.  Both Ann Arbor and Lansing OBGYN had a number of reasons why I could be bleeding: maybe left over hormonal overload from my medicine, slight pushing on uterus as it's growing, the loss of a multiple, etc.  They said we see it all the time, they said it could even be described as normal. 

That last one made me think about the way we educate people on pregnancy...
I was NEVER taught that bleeding during pregnancy was okay or that it happened on a fairly regular basis.  I was taught that blood and pregnancy do not mix.  Maybe we need to be a bit more explicit.   

Keep praying....keep hoping....

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